Frostbite: Dimitri's Point of View
by Gigi256
Summary: Two paths lie ahead. One seems to offer everything Dimitri could ever hope for. The other promises pain and the one thing he truly wants: the one person he can never have. Is a comfortable life worth the absence of love, or is that love worth the inevitable heartbreak? Will that choice be made for him before he has the chance to decide? Sequel to Vampire Academy: Dimitri's POV
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note**

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><p>Here's the long awaited first chapter of Frostbite from Dimitri's Point of View. I'm so glad to be writing again! I hope you enjoy and lets kick things off with a a bit of heat why don't we ;)<p>

_*some mature (non-graphic) content in this chapter*_

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><p>Her skin was so incredibly smooth under my fingertips. It felt even better under my lips. I kissed her cheek, her throat, her collarbone. I was encouraged further by every little sigh she made. Her back arched, pressing me closer to her chest. It was a physical mirror to the small pleas in her voice.<p>

"Dimitri."

The way she said my name thrilled me. That alone could make me feel like I was soaring.

But this was more; this was indescribable. Her body was pressed against mine as I knelt on the bed, her legs straddling my own. My hands ghosted over her thighs, her hips, her waist. Ultimately, I settled on placing one hand on the small of her back, allowing my fingers to hesitantly explore the skin beneath the waistband of her lace underwear. The other boldly tangled in the long dark hair near her shoulder blades.

Neither of us won the fight for dominance. There was no need. I felt powerful as my touch made her body writhe in response. But truthfully, I was at her mercy. She could ask anything from me and I would go to the ends of the earth to prove myself to her.

Such is passion. Such is devotion. Such is love.

I dipped my head just a bit lower, ready to give in to her unspoken desire. As my rough jaw brushed against the softness of her breast, she gave a small moan, throwing her head back in the ecstasy of anticipation. The sudden movement caused my own pleasured groan as her hips pressed into mine.

"Roza," I whispered. "My Roza."

The cruel shock of reality woke me from my dream. The small alarm clock beeped accusingly from the nightstand, as if it knew the images of my unconsciousness and was determined to scold me for them.

My skin was coated in a thin layer of rapidly cooling sweat and my breathing was heavy as if I had just run a marathon. Waking up with these two physical discomforts was becoming routine. My sleep was often saturated in nightmares of watching Rose die. Sometimes it was at the hands of Victor. Other times, it was at the hands of Strigoi. But her death was always my fault. I was always just in time to see her murdered, but always too late to stop it.

The third physical sign of tonight's overactive imagination was an shameful reminder of the other type of dream that seemed to be tormenting me. I had, regrettably, dreamt of Rose for a while now. It started shortly after I had met her and become her mentor. However, these dreams had taken on a new and startling turn after we had fallen victim to a lust charm roughly a month ago. Where I had once imagined the touch of her hair or the taste of her lips, I now fantasized about thrill of her body on my own. Thankfully, I had broken the charm before we had gone too far, but the memory of that night still haunted me.

It was shameful enough that I had these thoughts (unbidden as they may be) when I held a position of authority over her. I also had to contend with the fact that our age difference practically made me a pedophile. I wasn't that much older than her, just seven years, but it was more than enough considering that she was seventeen and still a minor.

Not to mention that the attraction that I felt for her, that we felt for each other, was in direct conflict of my duty. The same duty that I was training Rose towards. We would one day be partners. Not in the romantic sense, but in the professional. We were both slated to guard Princess Vasilisa, the last remaining Moroi of the Dragomir line.

She would always have to come first for both of us. We both knew it. We both agreed to it. However, knowing it and agreeing to it is not as easy as actually living up to it. In fact, it was nearly impossible.

Every moment I spent with her only seemed to draw us closer together. She understood me better than anyone else I had ever met. I understood her as well. Our attraction and the feelings that developed along with it were strong, unyielding, and mutual. Fate was a cruel mistress; forcing us together with the promise that we could never truly be so.

I pulled myself from my bed, hoping the shock of a cool shower would rid me of the lingering effects of my warm bed. Before jumping in though, I opened my laptop to send a quick email. Rose would be waking up soon to join me for our morning training, and I needed to make sure she knew that our plans were going to be a little different today.

I had planned on telling her the news last night, but I knew it would make her nervous and she needed to get a good night's rest. I had finally arranged for her to take her Qualifier Exam; one of the required tests to graduate, and one she had missed while she and Lissa were on the run last year. She knew it was coming up, but the fact that it was today would be a surprise. It would also be a surprise that we would be spending nearly all this evening traveling to take the exam.

My quick email told her that she should get some extra rest today and that both out morning and afternoon trainings were canceled so she could do so. I also instructed her to meet me at the parking lot near the front gate at 6am, just as the sun would start rising. We would be switching to human schedule for the trip.

I knew that I wouldn't be able to get any extra rest after my last dream, so instead I made my way to the gym for some personal training. It felt lonely. I was so used to having Rose as my companion during workouts, that it felt wrong to not have her by my side. Afterwards I grabbed a simple breakfast in the guardian lounge and I couldn't help but pick up a few small treats for our trip later. Well for her, but it made me feel a bit more sane to tell myself that they were for us both. Not that I would be eating the multiple bags of artificially flavored cheese chips or sugar laden soda. I preferred my caffeine in the form of black coffee.

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><p>I was only waiting at the car for about ten minutes or so when I saw Rose hurrying towards me. Thankfully, she had the state of mind to wear something semi-professional: black jeans, white camisole, and a black cardigan. It was reminiscent of the traditional guardian's uniform without looking like she was playing dress-up.<p>

"I know, I know. Sorry, I'm late."

I smirked in response. I had given us a bit of extra time to make it to our destination because "Rose Standard Time" always seemed to be about fifteen minutes behind the rest of the world. I could see that she was already a bit nervous about the upcoming test and I was grateful that I had waited until the last minute to tell her so that she didn't have more time than necessary to fret. The qualifier wasn't a typical test, more like an interview. I remember it being a whole lot more nerve wracking than most of the exams that I had taken at school, simply because it was so different than what I was used to. Rather than testing your skills as a guardian, it was developed to test your commitment. High ranking guardians would come and meet one on one with the novices, discussing their future while assessing their character and dedication. While rare, the occasional stories of someone not passing was like an urban legend passed from class to class. I knew that Rose would do well, but I also knew my reassurances couldn't calm her entirely until she knew she passed.

Suddenly, Rose seemed to recognize that it was just me and her at the car.

"Who else is going?"

It took almost all of my will power not to grin like a fool. Instead, I did my best to look completely impartial to the fact that we would be alone together for almost the entire human day.

"Just you and me," I replied calmly with a small shrug as I made my way over to open the passenger side door for her.

Glancing back I saw a small looked of surprised recognition on her face. She didn't look upset at the information.

"How far away is it?" I could hear her voice struggling to keep an even tone, and I knew that she was just as happy as I was about the prospect of some time together, even if neither of us would admit it to the other.

"Five hours."

"Oh." Her voice dropped ever so slightly in disappointment as she slipped past me and into the passenger seat. Sure, it wasn't an extremely long time but it was better than nothing. Honestly, this would be the longest time we had ever spent alone together, especially without the possible interruption from other students or Academy staff. Still, I could understand her letdown. My mind flashed back to my dream last night and all the possibilities that could await us with an overnight trip. I shook my head to clear my mind of that line of thinking. No doubt, this was better for us both. I shouldn't even be entertaining these sort of thoughts in my private imagination, much less wishing for an opportunity to put them into action.

I closed her door, perhaps a bit harder than I intended due to my frustration, and took my own seat. She had already found a couple of the doughnuts I had picked up before the key even entered the ignition. She flashed me a grin in silent thanks before taking her first bite and I suppressed another smile of satisfaction knowing that even if I couldn't give her everything she wanted and everything I felt she deserved, I could still make her happy.

The roads were covered with a thin layer of fresh snow, and in the last remaining light of day, it was slightly difficult to see, but didn't hinder our progress too much. I could practically feel the tension radiating off of Rose. She was constantly fidgeting, whether it be tapping her food while staring out the window or wringing her hands as she tried to breath deeply. I wracked my brain for some appropriate way to reassure and calm her but for the life of me I couldn't figure something out.

"Don't they usually come to the Academy?" She broke the silence, starting her thought so abruptly that it took me a minute to understand what she was actually asking. "I mean, I'm all for the field trip, but why are we going to them?"

"Actually, you're just going to a _him_, not a _them_. Since this is a special case, and he's doing us a favor, we're the ones making the trip."

"Who is he."

I smiled openly, slightly proud that I was able to secure this particular guardian for her Qualifier. "Arthur Schoenberg."

"What!?" Her head snapped towards me and her voice squeaked slightly as she tried to catch her breath.

I grimaced a bit, realizing that instead of reassuring her nerves, I probably just made them ten times worse. It was a natural reaction to expect from her, but I had stupidly spoken without thinking. Arthur was extremely well known and well respected among guardians, even holding the head position on the Guardian Council for a while before retiring to protect one of the the highest ranking Royal Badica families.

"Wasn't...wasn't there anyone else available?" She sounded so small, practically begging for another option. I had faith in her and knew she would do well, but I needed her to see that.

"You'll be fine. Besides, if Art approves of you, that is a great recommendation to have on your record."

She gave a small huff and shook her head incredulously. Silence fell again in the car but with every glance I took towards her, I could see her nerves building. We were less than a half hour into our drive and at this pace she would give herself a heart attack before we made it halfway there. Finally, I saw her gently biting at her lower lip and absentmindedly fiddling with the ends of her hair; a sign that she was nearing her breaking point.

I could understand her hesitation. Her skills were impeccable, and she had already improved greatly during our trainings. However, she had a record to account for. Even though she had eventually been proven right in her instinct to take Princess Vasilisa away from school in an effort to protect her from Victor Dashkov who had intended to use Lissa for his own twisted agenda, she was still burdened with the fact that she had played a significant part in keeping the last of a Royal Maroi line inadequately protected. That coupled with the other minor black marks on her record were enough to make any student nervous.

What she didn't know what that when I set up the Qualifier Interview with Art, I had already sent him her transcript and record. He was already well aware of her record and reputation and was still willing to see her. It was actually one of the reason that I had specifically sought him out to mediate the exam. Guardian Schoenberg was someone who thought and made decisions beyond the ridged lines of rules and tradition. He understood that dedication was more than being perfect, but having the willingness to step outside the lines of perfection to find the path to success. While Rose was a wild card with a reputation for insubordination, I had come to realize that she rarely did something rash without having a reason behind it. Occasionally those reasons fell under that mind baffling "Rose-Logic" of hers, but she never put herself or others in danger without explanation. I had done my best to relay this to Arthur as well, assuring him that many of the problems that plagued her early education were issues of the past, and her dedication to her training and her charge was greater than most students I had seen. Once again, I found myself standing up for her, her education, and her eventual career like I had done the first time we had met. Before agreeing to do the Qualifier with Rose, Art had already assured me that he was inclined to pass her sight unseen, simply because of my faith in her.

However, a bit of nerves tended to focus a person and help in situations such as these so I kept that little piece of information hidden for the time being. I didn't want her to be so nervous that she worried herself sick though, so I did offer some words of comfort.

"You'll be fine," I repeated for what must have been the third time in the last ten minutes. "The good in your record outweighs the bad."

With unusual shyness, she peeked back at me. I felt my breath hitch slightly when her eyes met mine and felt the pull to hold her in my arms. The inclination to do so was coming more often and it was getting harder to ignore each day. I wanted to run my fingers through her hair, I wanted her to feel how my heart raced every time I was near her, I wanted to feel the smile on her lips when I kissed her. Hell, at this point I would settle just to hold her hand in my own. I could see it resting on the center console between us, it would be all too easy to simply reach over and take it. Before I could do so though, she shifted and looked away again.

"Thanks, Coach." Her voice took on a teasing tone as she snuggled into the seat and wrapped her jacket around her tighter. However, it was a brutal reminder of what I was to her. I was a coach, a mentor, a teacher. Perhaps we would advance to be partners and friends as we worked side by side to protect Vasilisa after her graduation, but we would never be more. We _could_ never be more.

"I'm here to help." I kept my voice light and relaxed, but inside I felt another stab in my chest. At least today, we could enjoy each others companionship without the additional pressure of the Academy. It wasn't exactly what I wanted, but it was better than nothing and I was happy to take what I could get.

At least I thought so, until she spoke again. The tone in her voice was taunting again, but it held a dangerously suductive edge to it that terrified me and thrilled me at the same time.

"You know what would really help?"

"Hmm?" Part of me was eager to hear what she would say, the other part of me dreaded it...

"If you turned of this crap music and put something on that came out after the Berlin Wall went down." The laughter in her voice was contagious and soon I felt myself following suit.

"Your worst class is history, yet somehow, you know everything about Eastern Europe."

"Hey, gotta have material for my jokes, Comrade." I gave a huff at the ridiculous nickname, but I silently admitted that I enjoyed it. She only used it during her lighthearted moods, and if this is what it took to relieve some of her stress, then two could play at that game.

Smiling at the thought, I reached for the radio dial, jumping a few channels until I hit one of the three country stations available in this area.

"Hey!" She jokingly smacked my arm, "This isn't what I had in mind."

I did my best to hold back my laughter at her reaction, and was barely able to do so. "Pick. It's one or the other."

For a moment she just stared at me in a bit of shock as if I had asked her to choose between chopping off her left or right leg. Finally, with a dramatic sigh, she made her choice.

"Go back to the 1980's stuff."

I flipped the dial again, relishing in my small victory as she pouted in her seat. However, less than a minute later, she was humming along to "Video Killed the Radio Star."

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><p><strong>Author's Note<strong>

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><p>I'm Back! Who missed me :)<p>

I'm super excited to start Frostbite, and I'm a couple chapters ahead so I'm hoping that there wont be too long of a delay between updates. I'm planning on doing one post a week, most likely updated on Saturday night/Sunday morning. That being said, sometime things happen so don't freak out if I'm late on one. It probably means that inspiration hit me and I needed to rework something. Your patience will be rewarded.

Also, I'm putting out an open call for a Beta. I don't anticipate needed a beta for this particular story, but I'm needing some assistance for my original story that I plan on posting early next year. If you are a grammar freak, word nerd, and have a passion for story telling...then hit me up! Experience is nice, but not necessary. You will be doing some proof reading, but I also need someone to bounce ideas back and forth with and perhaps provide some clarity when my words can't make it from my head to the keyboard.

So what do you think of the beginning of the story? What part of Frostbite are you looking forward to MOST? Anyone excited to see Adrian? I plan on having some real fun with him, not to mention how he and Dimitri interact. How about Tasha? I'm excited to get more of her back story and play with the relationship between her and Dimitri. Even though she played a fairly large role in several books, I felt like she wasn't a very developed character and we missed a whole lot of who she was and what was behind her motivations. I'd like to delve into that more.

Don't forget to review, favorite and follow! Thanks friends and I'm so glad to be back!

_Disclaimer: I do not own Vampire Academy_


	2. Chapter 2

The Badica family lived a short distance from Billings, Montana. They owned a large area of land that gave even their large and technologically advanced home a rustic feeling. I had only been here once before, but I remembered the set up fairly well.

In general, there were only a few schools of thought when it came to living among the human population. The first was to live in heavily populated cities. This allowed Moroi and dhampirs to blend into the dense crowd and keeping a nocturnal schedule wasn't quite as unusual. The second was to live like the Badica family did; in a more rural area where there were less people to notice you. By owning most of the surrounding land, they were able to keep a nocturnal schedule without much notice from others. The only other real options were living in a completely vampiric community like the Academy, Court or some types of communes, or fully assimilating with the surrounding human population and their practices like my family did in Baia.

We arrived at the Badica home around noon. The snow had tapered off a few hours ago but the house was still blanketed in a thick white quilt. Rose stared in awe for a moment and I could see her nerves returning from earlier. I figured that it would be best to take the "rip-the-bandaid-off" method and quickly made my way out of the car and towards the front door, leaving Rose no choice but to follow me. She still had some of her cheery demeanor as she called for me to wait up, moving quickly over the snow covered river rock pathway.

Unfortunately, she was moving just a little too quick and I saw her slip on the ice out of the corner of my eye. I instinctively reached out and caught her by the arm, my mind recalling a similar situation the night we met in Portland.

For half a moment, we just looked at each other. I knew she was remembering that night as well. I pulled her back up into a stable position before asking her if she was alright.

"Yeah." She insisted, straightening out her jacket and brushing off some of the snow that clung to it before looking towards the pathway as if it had personally offended her. "Haven't these people ever heard of salt?"

I almost laughed, but something suddenly clicked in my mind and I felt my body tense for battle. Rose, seeing my reaction, fell into a defensive position beside me without question. I began to survey the area, realizing something wasn't right but not quite able to put my finger on it. Rose was correct, I would have anticipated that the driveway and path leading to the house to be shoveled and salted. We were expected today, and I couldn't think of a reason why they wouldn't have done so. I couldn't see or hear any signs of a struggle, but when listened closer, I realized that there was no sounds at all coming from the house. The Badica family had several small children, and I would have expected to hear at least some noise from them, but there was absolute silence.

Something at the front door caught my eye. It was slightly ajar, just barely noticeable. As I approached I could see that several scuffs marked the doors edge, as if it had been forced open. I tentatively touched the handle. Broken.

Alarms started ringing in my head. I knew whatever lay on the other side of the door, it wouldn't be pleasant. It was obvious that some sort of attack had happened and I felt ill prepared as to what would come. I have very little information to go off of except the forced entry.

_And the footprints, _my mind finished automatically. There had only been our footprints in the snow leading up to the house. That left two options: either the attack had happened hours ago and the assailant left in time for the snow to cover his tracks, or the attacker was still here. I carefully reached for my stake, still secure in its holster. My fingers brushed gently brushed the loaded pistol that was secured next to it.

"Rose," I whispered, "go wait in the car."

"But wh-"

"Go." I cut her protest off sharply and the command, though quiet, was enough to prompt her to obey.

She backed up several feet before using the lawn to make her way back to the car rather than the pathway. I could see her trying to put the pieces together as she maneuvered through the snow, but she remained silent as she got back into the car. As soon as I saw the car door shut, I took a deep breath and stepped past the door.

It was a massacre inside. Several dead bodies were viable from the doorway. I didn't need to check most to tell that they were gone. The blood that caked them and the surrounding area was dark and dry, probably split hours ago, if not days. I continued to make my way through the house, counting bodies, occasionally checking one to confirm death, and keeping an eye out for any lingering danger.

I reached the bathroom only to find another body in there. I suppressed the sudden urge to retch at the smell of blood and decay. The body had started to decompose in the warmer temperature of the interior room, and while it was that bad yet, it was noticeable.

I had begun to move away from the room when the mirror caught my eye. A message was written on it...in blood.

_**Poor, poor Badicas. So few left. One royal family gone. Others to follow. **_

I had barely had a chance to consider the meaning behind the words when I head a small sound coming from the main area. As quickly and as silently as I could, I made my way back.

I saw Rose standing in the back part of the living room, near the sliding glass door, still as a statue. Her face was pale as her eyes slowly ran over the scene before her. My first reaction was to run to her, the second was to yell at her. I resisted both, knowing that either would probably take her by surprise and I didn't want her to make any noise until I had cleared the entire house.

Instead, I quietly walked up behind her. I kept waiting for her to notice me, but she was completely overwhelmed by the death surrounding her that she didn't hear me. As I got closer, I could hear her breathing becoming frantic, as if she was about to scream or hyperventilate.

I quickly wrapped my arm around her from behind, closing my hand over her mouth to muffle the small cry that escaped. She struggled for just a moment before she somehow realized it was me and relaxed into my arms.

"Why don't you ever listen? You would be dead if they were still here." My tone was much harsher than I had intended, but it wasn't out of anger...it was out of fear. Fear for her. I kept her pressed against me as I listened for any other noises and waited for her breathing to return to normal. Then I held her a few moments longer, just happy to know that in the midst of this tragedy, she was safe.

When I released her, it took a moment before she turned towards me. She didn't meet my eyes and I had to struggle to hear her whisper, "It's daytime. Bad things don't happen in the day."

I could hear desperation, begging me to tell her that this was all just a bad nightmare and that she would somehow be able to walk away and forget she ever saw this. I wished that I could give her that. I wished I could tell her that the monsters she feared weren't real. I wished that I could assure she would never meet such a fate. But none of it was mine to promise.

Instead, I told her the truth.

"Bad things can happen anytime," I told her, reaching out to steady the small sway in her stance, "and this didn't happen during the day. This probably happened a couple of nights ago."

I felt her shudder under my hand as she glanced around the room again, burning the sight into her memory once more before letting her gaze rest on the older Dhampir that lay near the head of the hallway.

"Arthur Schoenberg," I stated, not sure what else to say.

She just continued to stare. "He's dead." Her voice seemed to convey the disbelief in us both. "How can he be dead? How could a Strigoi kill Arthur Schoenberg?"

I looked down, about to say something when I noticed something glint in her hand. She was holding a silver stake. I touched it gently and she flinched, as if she forgot that she had it.

"Where did you get this?" I asked as she allowed me to take it from her grasp. Rose and I hadn't started practicing with a stakes yet, and I certainly hadn't given her one, which meant that she must have found it somehow.

"Outside," she said hollowly, "in the ground."

I studied it for a moment trying to figure out why it would be out there before the truth dawned on me. I spoke my thoughts aloud before I could catch myself, "It broke the ward."

For the first time since I had found her, Rose looked up at me. Her eyebrows furrowed in confusion as she tried to make sense of what I just said. As most of the puzzle became clear, I could still see her struggle for the final missing piece.

"Strigoi can't touch stakes, and no Moroi or dhampir would do it."

"A human might." I stated, knowing the significance of what I just said.

"Humans don't help Strigoi..." but this time, instead of stating it as fact, her words sounded like question. One that she wanted me to confirm.

I looked at her sadly. I could see the fear and confusion on her face. Everything she had been taught, everything she held to be true, was being challenged today. It was enough to shake anyone, myself included.

I saw the smallest bit of reluctant acceptance flash across her eyes when I didn't reassure her.

"This changes everything, doesn't it?"

"Yes," I spoke remorsefully, "it does."

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><p>After a few more minutes, I pulled out my phone and called the local Alchamist for the area. They assured me that they would have a large back up team arriving within a few hours.<p>

I knew I needed to continue to check the area, event though I was fairly certain that anyone left in the home would have made themselves known by now. Without any other direction, Rose followed behind me until I suggested that she wait in the car. She looked almost relieved at the instruction and quickly made her way outside without another word.

Within a half hour, I was seated beside her. There was nothing left for me to do inside. There were no Stigoi lurking, nor were there any survivors of the attack. In total I had counted ten bodies.

We sat in silence for over an hour as we waited for the team to arrive. From the corner of my eye, I could see Rose's distant gaze and I wondered if she has slipped into Lissa's mind simply as an escape from what she had seen here. It was the middle of the day though, and Lissa should be fast asleep. As far as I knew, Rose was unable to enter Lissa's dreams.

Rose had her arms crossed in front of herself, her hands clutching her upper arm as if she was subconsciously searching for comfort. A small part of me wanted to reach out and be that comfort she needed, but I held back. Not only would it be bad to be caught in such a compromising position, but I had no purpose holding her in the first place. We were supposed to be setting boundaries, and breaking down those walls in a moment of weakness would only make things harder later on.

Another hour of silence passed before the first van of guardians arrived. My tongue felt thick with disuse as I told her to follow me inside. "You should see how this is done." If nothing else, this would be a beneficial training exercise.

She looked hesitant at coming back inside, and I wouldn't push the issue if she protested. Lord knows she had seen more than she should've had to today. In the end though, I heard her soft footsteps behind me and I made my way up to the front door once more.

I greeted the couple of guardians I recognized, and introduced myself to the few that I didn't know. Several guardian openly stared at the unusual presence of a novice in such a scene, but nobody questioned it so I didn't say anything.

I showed the group around the scene, pointing to several of the entry points and pointing out some of the minor details I had already picked up on. I even showed them the stake and how Rose had found it outside near the ward line.

Everyone handled the situation with precision and professionalism. The only slight break in that mentality was when Tamara, a female guardian who was a bit older than me, knelt beside Arthur's body. There was a small break in her emotionless mask as she studied him.

Finally, she gave a small sigh. "Oh Arthur. Never thought I'd see the day." Her eyes flickered between Rose and I before she spoke again. "He was my mentor."

I heard Rose's small gasp behind me, and I felt myself stiffen momentarily. There was a small part of me that wanted to call Tamara out on her words because I knew exactly what was going through Rose's mind at this moment.

I knew that there was a part of her that held me up as some untouchable being. It was somewhat expected. I had thought the same of my own personal mentor, Galina. Rose had seen me fight, she had seen me take a few hits, but she had never seen me fail in battle. That didn't mean that I couldn't or wouldn't. There could very well be a day where Rose would kneel beside my body. As much as I hated the thought, I knew I would prefer it to being the one to kneel beside hers.

A certain amount of remorse was expected in these types of scenarios. I remembers the pain I felt when I had been told that Galina was gone. I didn't see it in person, but just the knowledge that me mentor was no longer the pillar of strength she once was made by stomach knot. With the...extra...emotions between Rose and I, it would unimaginably painful if either of us were to die. I knew she wouldn't handle my death any better than I would handle hers.

"How could they do that?" I heard Rose murmur from behind me. I turned to face her, curious as to what she meant. She just looked at me, pleadingly. "How could they kill _him_"

Tamara's unnaturally composed voice broke the pregnant silence. "The same way they kill everyone else. He's mortal, just like the rest of us."

It may have seen odd, but Tamara's even temperament wasn't wholly unexpected. This wasn't the first time she had lost someone close to her. We all had. Losing a friend or coworker to the battle had practically become routine for us. Rose was still young and had yet to lose someone close to her. I wish I could say it would never happen, but it was a simple reality in our line of work.

"Yeah, but he's..." her voice faltered, unsure of herself, "you know, Arthur Schoenberg." I could see some of the same desperation returning to her as I had seen when I found her in the house earlier. She was reaching her breaking point again and I knew she needed a distraction.

"You tell us, Rose. You've seen the house. Tell us how they did it."

She looked at me, confused about my request. I stayed locked on her gaze, silently encouraging her to focus on the evidence around us. After a moment, she closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and when she opened them again she seemed like a new person. A Guardian.

"There were four points of entry," she started, gaining confidence as she spoke, "which means at least four Strigoi. There were seven Moroi and three guardians." Her eyes glanced over the bodies in the room, including the three children nearby. "Too many kills. Four Strigoi couldn't have taken down that many. Six probably could if they went for the guardians first and caught them by surprise. The family would have been too panicked to fight."

She was doing well. Six Strigoi was the minimum probable number, it was most likely closer to eight, but she wasn't far off. She could do this.

"And how did they catch the guardians by surprise" I prompted.

She bit her lip automatically as she thought for a moment. I was tempted to give her a hint towards the answer, but knew that she needed to be able to figure this out on her own. Her eyes finally settled on the stake laying nearby one of the fallen guardians.

"Because the wards were broken. In a household without the wards, there would probably be a guardian walking the yard at night. But they wouldn't have done that here."

I gave her a small nod. As proud of her as I was, the smile that tempted me wasn't appropriate here. As we moved towards the hall, Rose walked a few steps before me. I saw her look away from the body as we entered the bathroom again, instead looking at the message written on the mirror in his blood. Several other guardians made small noises of disgust.

As I pondered the message further, the full weight fell upon me.

_**One royal family nearly gone. Others to follow.**_

The Badicas were a small Royal family, but they weren't the smallest by any means. Princess Vasilisa, as the last of the royal Dragomir line, was certain to be a target. While she was fairly safe at the Academy between the wards and the significant guardian process, she would be a major target the moment she stepped outside it's boundaries. I would be a target. Rose would be a target.

From the expression on Rose's face, I could tell she was thinking of Lissa as well. This is how it always seemed to be. Rose was worried about Lissa. I was worried about Rose. This is why we could never have a relationship outside of our professional duties. Not because Rose never put me first, but because I would always put her first. She had it right. I was her mentor, but she was the one who knew her duty.

After I had filled out all the necessary paperwork, and statements had been taken from Rose and I, we were ready to head back. I had spoken to several of the others on the scene who were willing to lay testimony to Rose's dedication to her position as a guardian and complete her Qualifier Exam. It wouldn't hold the single weight of Arthur's recommendation, but I was fairly certain that most student's didn't have ten recommendations behind them. Perhaps I was over compensating for the guilt of exposing Rose to something as gruesome as this scene before it was necessary. It had been a hard day for everyone, but she seemed to be taking particularly hard, from the shock and denial earlier to the anger and frustration that came to a head the moment we made it back to the car.

She slammed the door, slightly tucking into herself as she sat.

"What's wrong?" I asked, hearing how stupid the words sounded the moment they came out.

"Are you serious? How can you ask that?" Her voice rose slightly with each sentence. "You were in there. You saw that."

"I did. But I'm not taking it out on the car." I kept my voice calm, hoping that she would calm down as well. It only worked for a moment.

When she spoke again, she wasn't yelling, but her voice was filled with a particular venom I had never heard from her before.

"I hate them. I hate them all! I wish I'd been there. I would have ripped their throats out."

"You really think that's true." I had no doubt that she wanted to. I had no doubt that she would have tried. I have no doubt that she would have ended up another body on the floor. Hell, I would have likely died as well. She may not be able to see it now, but that many Strigoi against so few guardian's was nearly unsurvivable for anyone. However, it was dangerous for her or anyone to overestimate her strength and ability. "You think you could have done better than Art Schoenberg after seeing what the Strigoi did in there? After seeing what Natalie did to you."

I winced at my own words. I really shouldn't have said that last part. It made my point across, but it was also a slap in the face to her. She reacted as if she felt the physical sting. She was silent for a moment, and just before I could apologize, she beat me to it.

"I'm sorry." Her body seemed to release all her tension and anger in those two words.

"It's okay." My hand found her's before my mind registered what I had done. Still, I left it for a few seconds, as a comfort to us both. "It's been a long day. For all of us."

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><p><strong>Authors Note<strong>

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><p>Thank you so much for the great response to the last chapter! It was great to hear what everyone was excited to read in the coming chapters. I hope that I can do it justice.<p>

Also, thank you so much for those that offered their Beta services. I did find someone to help me out and we are already working on a special treat for you guys before the holidays. Keep a look out for a Christmas surprise! (and if you haven't favorited me as an author, you might want to do so to get a notice when it's posted)

This was an emotional chapter to write, but I hope you enjoyed it! Thank you again for reading, reviewing, follows and favorites! I love hearing your thoughts and ideas.


	3. Chapter 3

We arrived at the academy much later than I had intended to. To be perfectly honest, I probably should have gotten a hotel for the night to let us rest before returning to the school, but I still wasn't fully confident in my ability to keep my distance. With how tired and emotionally compromised we were after such a stressful day, it simply wasn't a good idea. I had already slipped and initiated physical contact several times, and though it had been innocent in the eyes of others, it still meant more that it should have. Thus, I pushed us on through the night.

She was asleep when we arrived. I encouraged her to return to her room and rest as long as she could. I want nothing more than to do the same, but I had to meet with some of the other guardians on campus to give a debriefing. Not only did they want first hand information from the attack scene, but bringing a novice to something like this required an incident report to be filed.

When I entered Guardian Alberta Petrov's office, several other lead guardians were already assembled. Guardian Petrov was the head of the school guard, and was well respected in her position. Even though she was nearing 50 years old, she was still fairly lethal. Above all, her experience and wisdom was highly prized. It was rare for a guardian to make it to her age, so when one did, you took notice. She had the ability to be both strategic in battle and compassionate in education. Her position at this school was well deserved.

I also had additional respect for her because she might be the only other person on this campus that can see Rose's full potential. While I might have been the one to bargain Rose's terms of continued enrollment, it was only possible with Alberta's support. She was also the closest thing to a mother figure that Rose had, which endeared her to me a little bit more.

"Guardian Belikov, I wasn't expecting you until tomorrow, but thank you for being here."

"It's no problem. With the developments at the Badica house, I figured that it would be better to discuss this sooner rather than later." I gave them a short debriefing of what had happened, glossing over anything that wasn't purely factual. They heard about the victims, but they didn't have to see their faces covered in blood. They heard about the message written on the mirror, but they didn't have to feel the chill that it inspired. They heard about Rose's involvement, but the didn't have to see the conflict in her eye that fought between shock and rage. I took out all emotions, and left just the bare information.

"Thank you, Guardian Belikov." Despite her professional exterior, I could see a hint of sympathy in her eyes. The only thing worse than having to fight, is finding out you were too late to fight.

"Now on to the next matter," she continued., "Since this incident went public, our phones haven't stopped ringing with concerns from parents about student safety. Though the wards are obviously not fool proof in security, most are still hesitant to leave their safety. Many parents are hesitant to pull students from the school for the holiday, but many parents are still vying for the opportunity to see their children for the holiday break. We simply don't have the space to house the parents who have already called, much less the ones that are still calling now. I'd like to hear some of your ideas on how to overcome this issue."

Several guardians gave ideas, some better than others. Ideally, it would be easiest to keep all students on campus for security. We already had several security measures in place to keep them safe. But with only one building for guest housing, there was no way we could offer housing to everyone who would want it. Some suggested that we prioritize guest housing for those of the high ranking royal families, but it was quickly shot down. A lottery to decide who could stay in guest housing was a slightly more fair option, but still left many families separated. As was the idea that we simply deny access to guest housing entirely and require that families who wish to spend the holidays with their children provide secure transport to and from the Academy. While many royal families may be able to afford this option, a majority of students and their families wouldn't. It quickly became clear that Academy simply wouldn't be the ideal location to make this work.

"Well, where else could we take them? Court is large enough to take the students and their families, but I believe there is a reason why our governing body is so far from the largest collection of our adolescents in the country." The man attempted a joke, but he wasn't entirely wrong, especially on his next part. "Plus, the cost of transporting the students that distance would be astronomical."

"So we need a place that is large, close, and has security measures already set up."

Guardian Stan Alto cleared his throat, capturing the attention of the room. "I think I might know a place. I haven't been there since I worked for the Conta family, but there's a lodge in Idaho, less than an hour or so outside of Lewiston. Several Royal families use it for the Holiday season, but under the circumstance, I'm sure we can work something out to have the students transferred there for the break. It should be large enough for the students and family. There is plenty of security already in place, and as long as the school guardians can team up with the family guardians, there should be more than enough man power to keep things under control."

Honestly, it seemed like the best plan out there. After a bit more discussion, Alberta agreed to the plan and was ready to make some phone calls. She dismissed the group, but asked me to stay behind to fill out the report. I had only just sat down with the paperwork before I felt her presence behind me.

"How's she doing," she asked, the typical hard edge in her voice melting into concern.

"She's doing as well as can be expected." Neither of us had to name who we were speaking about.

"Coming across a scene like that would be hard for anyone, even a seasoned professional. I could only imagine that it was hard on you both."

"She actually handled herself fairly well. She was able to identify the possible time line, and it ended up being a decent training experience for her. It definitely didn't end up being the day I had planned, but we made the best of a horrible situation. Several of the guardians present were able to give witness to her professionalism and complete her Qualifier Exam."

"And emotionally?"

"She's...struggling. Who wouldn't. There were quite a few casualties, including three children. She seemed a bit shocked that someone like Arthur could falter, but I don't think any of us expected that one. He was against staggering odds, but his reputation was almost legendary. However, for someone so young and so unprepared for this, she did really well."

"Well, I'm glad you were there for her."

I didn't know what to say to that, so I just gave a non-committal nod. The smile that I had tried to give to accompany it came out more like a grimace with my lips pulled tight. I might have helped her keep focus through the day, but she had the strength within herself to handle the situation. I couldn't claim to give her that strength, not could I say that I had comforted her like I had wanted to when her strength eventually wore thin. Except for a few moments of weakness, I had kept my distance from her. I briefly wondered if I had made the right choice in denying her that support. I knew I had to keep those boundaries, but perhaps it was selfish of me to enforce that seperation on a day where she needed me. A day where I honestly needed her too.

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><p>The next morning, after a nearly sleepless night, I woke early and tried my hardest to wipe the signs of my restlessness away. Even with the extra time, I felt like I was running late. I made my way to the gym for the our morning practice to wait for Rose.<p>

I had only been there a few minutes, setting up some practice dummies, before I heard her just outside the gym door. I her hand was on the door nob, holding it slightly ajar, and another voice drifted in. It was angry and bitter. I couldn't make out every word, but the overall theme was fairly clear. Mason was calling for action and revenge, just as Rose had last night.

I cringed, remembering the unusual anger that had radiated from her. Her eyes had been dark, nearly pitch black, and she almost seemed out of control. Even though Mason was obviously upset, it wasn't the same. Rose hadn't just been mad, she had looked nearly crazed in that moment. It had shocked me, but I had chalked the strange behavior to exhaustion and frayed nerves. Now I was questioning that a bit.

Whatever the reason for her reaction, I braced myself to hear its reappearance with Mason's encouragement. Instead, I was stunned when she replied calmly.

"I don't know, Mase. I mean, I don't want Strigoi out there, attacking people either...but, well, we aren't even close to being ready. I've seen what they can do. Rushing in isn't the answer."

While I loved Rose for her fire, I was grateful for her surprising temperance in this matter. She almost sounded like me, as strange as that thought was. Perhaps it was just my influence finally coming through.

Before I could think about it any further, she opened the door and started walking into the gym. They were still chatting, but their conversation had turned to the much more exciting topic of the impending ski trip. Rose finally glanced back at me and Mason gave her a playful bow before turning to leave.

She immediately dropped her gym bag near the door and started stretching. I watched her out the corner of my eye for a few minutes before deciding that I needed a distraction.

"So I guess you've heard about the ski trip."

"Yeah, it was a brilliant idea. It still seems a bit odd to be going to such a place and celebrating despite _why_ we are going there, but perhaps Mason is right: regardless of everything that has happened, we are alive. Why shouldn't we enjoy it a little? It's like an extra bonus on top of the increased safety and security."

"Yes. It should be very nice, despite the circumstances." I said absentmindedly, picking up how awkward she felt about the situation.

A moment later though I could see that teasing grin. "Plus, it should be like going home for you, right?"

I just quirked my eyebrow in response, unsure about where she was heading with this.

"Yeah, you know. Snow, wilderness, skiing as a primary mode of transportation. All we need is a bit of beet soup and it's home sweet home for you."

I could hold back the outburst of laughter. "Rose, I keep telling you: Siberia isn't anything like you are picturing in your mind. While my home may be a little off the beaten path, it isn't snowing twenty-four-seven. Plus, I've only been skiing before once in my life." My mind quickly flashed to the ski trip I had accompanied Ivan on the winter before he passed away. The fact that I could remember him and his death without debilitating pain and guilt didn't escape my notice.

"...and the borscht?" She grinned expecting.

Instead of replying, I just shook my head and laughed as I walked towards my bag. I unzipped it and removed the silver item laying on top, enjoying the familiar weight in my hand.

I had thought long and hard about this last night and decided that she was ready. Seeing her with the stake in her hand yesterday and knowing that she was more likely to hurt herself than anyone else because of her lack of training was the tipping point. I couldn't leave her venerable like that again, not when I could teach her.

"Sweet." I heard her breathy whisper when she recognized what I was holding and what it meant. I knew she had been waiting for this day for a while. She had pushed me once to teach her how to use a stake early in our training, but hasn't done so since. She placed her trust in me to train her. Today, I was showing her that that trust was well placed.

I ran my hand down the smooth body of the stake. While it looked almost identical to every other silver stake in existence, this one had particular meaning to me. This was my first stake. It was the one I had been taught on. The one that claimed my first kill. I hardly used it in battle now, favoring the one Ivan had given me, but I still remember the first time I held it. I had even carved my initials into the base of the hilt. My thumb ran over the familiar etch marks, warn and faded from repeating this gesture over the years. My mentor had given this stake to me and I had every intention of passing it on to Rose at her graduation.

I leaned casually against the wall, pleased at the thought that a part of me would always be there to support her in battle. She would never be alone.

I tossed the stake up with a small twist, causing it to spin a few times before catching it by the hilt.

The small gasp she gave as I caught the weapon pulled me from my silent thinking.

"Please tell me I get to learn how to do _that_ today."

I could hear the eagerness in her voice and I suppressed the urge to laugh again. She was so easy to be with, but made it so difficult to keep my walls up. I had trained years to remain impassive and unemotional to everything around me, only taking the opportunity to relax around a select few. Rose, however, could pull those responses out of me whether I wanted her to or not. She instinctively understood me, perhaps better than I really understood myself. Whether or not she knew it, she read me like an open book.

I flipped the stake up once again. "You'll be lucky if I let you _hold_ it today."

I could see the words on the tip of her tongue as she watched the stake spin. The words of protest to remind me that she has already held a stake, but I was grateful when she swallowed them unspoken.

Instead, she stood and crossed her arms in front of her. "You want me to tell you how they work and why I should always be cautious around them."

The way she said it, like a fact more than a question, caught me so off guard that I almost dropped the stake instead of catching it again. Thankfully, reflexes took over at the last second. I looked at her astonished.

She just laughed and rolled her eyes.

"Come on," she insisted. "You don't think I know how you work by now? We've been doing this for almost three months. You always make me talk safety and responsibility before I can do anything fun."

"I see." I couldn't believe we had been working together for three months now. I couldn't tell if it felt like I've known her forever or we just met only yesterday. It was too much to think about at the moment so I attempted to focus on the lesson at hand instead. "Well, I guess you've got it all figured out. By all means, go on with the lesson. I'll just wait over here until you need me again."

I sealed my challenge by sheathing the stake in its holster and made myself comfortable against the wall. Rose stared at me in disbelief for a moment before shrugging.

"Silver always has a powerful effect on any magical creature – it can help or hurt them if you put enough power into it." She started off sounding as if she was reading from her text book, slowly dissolving into her own language. I nodded along as she continued. "These stakes are really hard-core because it takes four different Moroi to make them, and they use each element during the forging." Her face crinkled slightly as she considered something. "Well, except spirit."

I briefly toyed with the thought. She was right and I wondered what effect Spirit would have on the forging of the stakes. I didn't have long to think about the idea before she started again.

"So these things are super charged and are about the only non-decapitation weapon that can do any damage to a Strigoi. But to kill them, it has to be through the heart."

"Will they hurt _you_?" I prompted.

She shook her head. "No. I mean, well, yeah. If you drive one though my heart it will, but it wont hurt me like it would a Moroi. Scratch one of them with this, and it'll hit them pretty hard – but not as hard as it'd hit a Strigoi."

She glanced over my shoulder and became distant for a moment. I understood why after she spoke again. "And they wont hurt humans, either."

I knew she was still struggling with the idea of humans and Strigoi working together, each using the other to compensate for their weaknesses. It wasn't completely unheard of, but it was extremely rare. Seeing it first hand and for the first time the amount of damage the two could do when they teamed up had shaken me as well. I was about to reach out to her when she returned her attention to me.

She continued, saying exactly what I would have told her. I only needed to offer a clarifying question every so often. She amazed me once again. Not only had she become much more invested in her studies, enough to literally give the lesson, but she also knew exactly what I was looking for from her. Finally, ten minutes before the end of our training time and after she had said everything I could have possibly told her, I led her to one of the dummies.

I removed the silver stake from my hip, and gestured to it slightly as I asked, "Where are you going to put this?"

"In the heart. I already told you that like a hundred times. Can I have it now?" She bounced on the balls of her feet, begging for the deadly weapon like I imagined most normal girls her age would beg for something trivial and trendy, like a new hand bag.

I smiled and continued her torture. "Where's the heart."

She flashed a glare that seemed to question my sanity but I simply shrugged and waited for her answer. In a huff, she pointed towards the left side of the chest. Her jaw dropped when I shook my head.

"That's not where the heart is," I confirmed.

"Sure it is. People put their hands over their hearts when they say the Pledge of Allegiance or sing the national anthem."

I watched her wordlessly, which was enough to question her resolve.

She considered the situation for a moment or two before bringing her and closer to the center of the chest, directly over where the heart would be.

"Is it here?" she asked.

"I don't know, is it?" I smugly returned her question.

As entertaining as it was to tease her, I knew I was pushing the limits of her annoyance when tossed her head back with a groan.

"That's what I'm asking you!"

"You shouldn't have to ask me." Even though she had finally guessed correctly, it was essential that she know it without a doubt. She couldn't question herself when milliseconds counted. "Don't you all have to take physiology?"

"Yeah. Junior Year. I was on 'vacation,' remember?"

I nodded in understanding. Since it wasn't a novice specific class related to combat, it hadn't been a priority when I was planning these extra training sessions. However, it seemed to have at least one vary relevant lesson.

She pointed to the stake in my hand. "Can I please touch it now?"

I almost offered it to her, but a quick glance at the clock reminded me that out time was coming to an end and I knew if I gave it to her now, I wouldn't get it back before she was late to class. Instead, I flipped it one last time and returned it to the holster, much to her dismay.

"I want you to _tell_ me where the heart is the next time we meet. Exactly where. And I want to know what's in the way of it too."

She glared at me, long past annoyed and inching towards frustration. I wanted to tease her and remind her that she was asking for a weapon, not a puppy, but thought better of it. She looked about ready to attack me, and not in the way I would prefer.

I coughed and dismissed her quickly, startled where my own mind had wondered to so suddenly without my consent.

She was still upset during the first period combat class. After watching her take her frustration out on more than a few classmates, I began to wonder if I had actually chosen the lesser of two evils by not letting her handle the stake. She might have been late, but some of the other students may have gone home with a few less bruises.

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><p><strong>Author's Note<strong>

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><p><strong>One big thing. In Frostbite, there is a place referenced as "Lowston," Idaho that is said to be the closest town to the lodge. There is no actual Lowston, Idaho. Initially, I thought this might have simply been a made up town name like "Baia," but as I continued reading, I think Richelle might have meant Lewiston, Idaho. I lived in the area (I actually live in Spokane now) and other information in the book seems to support the idea. So for my DPOV, Lowston is now Lewiston. It doesn't really make a huge difference to the story, but "Lowston" had bugged me since my first reading and this is my chance to fix it, at least in my own head. I hope you lovely readers don't mind :) <strong>

**Thanks for reading today! I hope you guys enjoyed this. I wanted to give a BIG thank you and welcome to my new beta, MarySaid. She isn't working on Frostbite with me, but she will be helping with another story coming soon. She also was a huge help beta'ing my one shot, Dimitri's Debt. **

**If you haven't read Dimitri's Debt yet, please take a moment to do so. You can find it on my profile. It reveals two very important scenes from Dimitri's life, and shows some of the unique relationship between Dimitri and our favorite Zmey. Don't forget to let me know what you think about it.**

**Once again, thank you for reading. Please remember to read, review, favorite and follow. It really means so much to me when you share your thoughts and opinions. **


	4. Chapter 4

It was like watching a train wreck. It was hard to miss and impossible to stop.

A notification had been sent to all the school guardians that morning about a few guest speakers who would be in Alto's Theory class during the second hour. Anyone who wasn't on duty at that time was welcomed to attend and since I didn't have a scheduled post, I made my way over without even checking the names of those who would be speaking.

I recognized Janine Hathaway immediately. You would think that the petite five-foot woman would be easy to overlook, but her the way she carried herself made her hard to ignore. I was surprised to see her, especially since Rose hadn't mentioned her coming. Since she so rarely visited Rose on campus, I would have assumed that it would have been something that she would bring up in one of our trainings. I realized why she didn't only a moment later.

Rose walked into the room with Mason, obviously still a bit riled up from earlier but at least she was laughing again. As soon as she saw her mother, the laughter stopped. While her face was cool and impassive, I could see a handful of emotions flash through her eyes. Surprise, confusion, hurt. All while Janine remained impassively cool. She didn't acknowledge her daughter. She didn't even look at her.

Guardian Alto explained that they would be hearing first hand stories from the field to give them a better idea of what to expect. The class seemed to vibrate with anticipation. Part of me wanted to mention that a very large part of being a guardian was simply waiting and watching, however I understood what they were trying to impart. When it was time to act, you couldn't hesitate. You had to act on instinct. You had to act on training.

The oldest of the trio, Guardian John Hensley, started with a story that was fairly helpful because it was a situation that one could easily expect to come across while in the field. He and his partner were guarding their charge family that included a young child. The child wondered off in a public area.

I turned to check on Rose. The earlier insecurity had faded and she seemed to be deep in thought about Guardian Hensley's situation. I could almost see her working out the several options that would have been available to him. I knew what I would have done. It was the same thing Hensley and his partner did. They gathered the family in an easily secured area to be guarded by one, and the other sought out the missing child. A satisfied look shined through momentarily, and I knew she had come to a similar conclusion on how she would have handled it.

The second guardian was much younger, perhaps only a year or two out of the Academy himself. There was a certain cockiness about him that also gave away his inexperience. However, he did present a very important point to the group. There is an unwritten rule: you are always on duty. While I wasn't impressed with his showboating, knowing that we are to protect Moroi whether they are our charge or not, on duty or off, is a lesson you learn quickly after graduation.

Once again, I glanced towards Rose to see if she was analyzing his story and situation as she had done with the first guardian. She wasn't. It wasn't because she lost interest or disagreed though. In her mind, it was simply a given that she would protect any Moroi who needed her, and that anything else was unimaginable. I also knew that this sense of duty wasn't limited to her charge, or even the Moroi population. She would go out of her way to defend any of those who couldn't, regardless of race.

Finally, it was her mother's turn. Guardian Janine Hathaway commanded attention without making a sound, but once she started speaking on her experience, everyone was enraptured. Even I was riveted by what she was saying. Stories like hers were rare and presented a certain drama that would be entertaining if it didn't deal with the actual lives of people.

She spoke about a large gathering put on by her charge that suffered from an attack by four Strigoi. Her casual reference to how that was no longer considered an exceptionally large group since the Massacre at the Badica residence cause a few people to wince, and even I took a deep breath at the memory in attempt to clear the images from my mind. Rose had her eyes pinched close, likely trying to banish the same memories. When she opened them again, they didn't hold relief but annoyance.

I could see that annoyance was starting to build to something more volatile as Janine continued her story and told of how her group had managed to rescue two Moroi taken during the even as well as liberating several others they found being held captive. Rather than being awed by the epic tale like the rest of us were, Rose was enraged. The more harrowing the tale got, the more upset Rose became. She was practically livid when Guardian Hathaway spoke frankly about finishing the last three Stigoi by each of the possible means: staking, decapitation, and burning. The feat was so difficult to do, even I had to silently acknowledge how impressive it was.

As the students started asking her questions, I could see Rose's hand eventually raise with the others. I hoped she would turn so I could dissuade her from speaking. I knew what was coming, but there was nothing I could do but pray that my intuition was wrong and Rose would handle the situation maturely. I was disappointed the moment she opened her mouth.

It wasn't just Rose who proved disappointing though. Janine also left a lot to be desired in the interaction. I was shocked to see the look of surprise Guardian Hathaway gave when she saw her daughter in class. She wasn't being passive and professional by not greeting her daughter, she hadn't even realized that her daughter was in the classroom with her. It was just barely better than outright ignoring her.

Rose posed a decent question about securing the event in question before the attack. At least, it would have been decent has she chosen her words more carefully and kept her tone in check. Janine attempted to answer professionally but the signs of aggravation was there. I doubted everyone was able to pick up on the subtle cues that showed her diminishing self-control, but they were ridiculously similar to Rose's. I had learned to read her long ago.

Still, the final nail in the coffin was when Rose gave an accusation that I would have kicked her out of class for, if Guardian Alto hadn't done so first. I could still hear her voice in my mind.

"Whatever gets you the _molnija_ marks, right?"

Rose rebelliously pick up her books and left, not meeting the eyes of the guardians glaring at her. I could tell that it was a show. She was embarrassed, but held her head high in defiance. As she passed me, I could see her slow just a bit. Her head turned slightly towards me, as if she was going to look for support. Support that I couldn't – wouldn't – offer her at this moment. Before she sought my gaze though, she changed her mind, perhaps already knowing that I didn't approve of her behavior. She walked out without looking back.

About ten minutes later, Guardian Hathaway slipped out. The yelling started almost immediately. I couldn't hear the entire conversation, though I could make out bits and pieces. The most impressive realization was the fact that the two women were more alike than I believe either of them knew or would like to admit.

Guardian Alto attempted to continue the class as well as could be expected, but it was hard for many students to curb their curiosity. Even a few guardians couldn't keep themselves from eavesdropping.

After a few moments of shouting between them, I glanced towards Guardian Petrov a few feet away. She seemed to be struggling with the same issue I was. Should we intervene? I looked to her for guidance because while I was well equip to handle Rose, both in ability and authority, but Guardian Hathaway was an entirely different matter. Alberta simply shook her head. I couldn't tell if it was in response to my uncertain question, or just her own disappointment about the behavior and relationship of the two women outside. Either way, I remained firmly rooted in my position.

By the time the bell rang and the students finished pouring out of the classroom, there was no sign of either Hathaway. I knew that I would see her later, and I was certain that Mason would find her before I did. It didn't take long to prove my theory correct. In the distance, I could see her walking to her next class, Mason dutifully walking beside her and stealing small brushes against her arm.

The boy was making a much stronger effort to be near her and I had to continually remind myself that it was for the best. She deserved a small amount of normalcy and dating Mason would be ideal for that. Still, there was a part of me that wanted to selfishly discourage the growing relationship. I knew that as her mentor, it would be only too easy to tell her to focus more on her training and studies, effectively encouraging her to spend more time with me rather than him. That temptation was only getting stronger as I noticed a hesitant yet still new receptiveness to his advances. Seeing her look at another man, even tepidly, brought out a side of me that I would rather leave hidden.

I watched them disappear around the corner, and continued to stare a moment longer, as if I could still watch them through the stone wall.

"Dimka?" It was only the sound of a familiar but unexpected voice that eventually caught my attention. Very few people called me by that name. I spun around to see a raven haired woman that I hadn't seen in a handful of years. Her face was impossible to forget, even if she hadn't been a close friend of mine in the past.

"Tasha? I didn't know that you were visiting."

"Yes, I had plans to come for the Christmas holiday. I just arrived a short while ago. I haven't even had the chance to sit down with Christian yet."

"There are a few more hours before the school day ends, but if you'd like, I have some time before I need to be anywhere. Would you like to grab something to eat?" I was curious in catching up and hearing about her life. Most of my motivation was genuine interest, but I had to admit that there was a small part of me that felt guilty that I hadn't reached out to her in quite a while. I haven't spoken to her since I had first arrived to the Academy and even then that was only a phone call.

She accepted with a smile and I led her to the guardian lounge. The food was generally the same offerings as the student's cafeteria for lunch, but the atmosphere was a bit more comfortable. She told me about her life in Minnesota, working at a small martial arts studio and taking some freelance writing jobs in her spare time. I remembered her taking journalism and political science classes at University when she was younger. That education had been cut short when she became Christian's guardian, and was still left unfinished. While she never complained about the sacrifice, and I knew she would willingly make it again, it was nice to hear that she was able to put a little bit of that learning to use.

She asked me about my recent life, and I attempted to keep it fairly general. Most people prefer not to listen to stories about endless rounds of quiet patrol or murdered families. With my job, it's often one or the other. I was a bit surprised when she brought up my training with Rose.

"Christian has mentioned her," She explained. "Apparently he considers her just shy of crazy, but I think they have much more in common then he realizes."

My first reaction was to scoff at the notion, since they appeared to be complete opposites. Rose was social and outgoing, while Christian preferred solitude. However, when I started to think about the pair, it actually made sense. Both were sarcastic, determined, and fiercely loyal to those they cared about. This was best seen with Vasilisa, Rose's best friend and Christian's girlfriend. Couple this with the fact that they both had a habit of stumbling into trouble, and I could see where Tasha was coming from. I told her as much.

"Then I like her already. Tell me more. I know you two spend quite a bit of time in training – something Christian is thankful for, by the way. He enjoys having Vasilisa to himself." Tasha set her elbows on the table and rested her chin in her hands, settling in for what she apparently expected to take a while.

I kept to the basics. How Rose and I met when I was sent to retrieve her and Princess Vasilisa from Portland. Why the girls had left in the first place. How our training sessions were part of the agreement for her continued enrollment. How she's improved in the few short months we've been working together, and how much she continued to impress me. I even mentioned the bond between Rose and Lissa.

I felt myself relaxing as I talked about Rose. It felt good to talk about her in a way that didn't include progress reports. Still, I felt a pang at everything I didn't mention. Everything I _couldn't_ mention. The way she made me feel with just a glance. The inner struggle of training her to be an outstanding guardian, but wishing that she would never have to risk her life. Victor's lust charm and how I was still haunted by what almost was. How I still wished it could be. Those things had to stay locked within the safety of my own mind.

I honestly had to tread carefully speaking about Rose in general. While Tasha was correct, she was a large part of my daily life and it shouldn't be surprising that I had quite a bit to offer on the topic of my student, I was worried that my inner thoughts might betray me. There was a reason that Tasha had pursued her education in journalism. She had quite the knack for seizing a story and prying it out into the open.

After two hours, our conversation started to wind down. I needed to get ready for Rose's next training, and I'm sure Tasha was eager to meet with her nephew. As we gathered our few items at the table, she invited me to meet with her again.

"I'm staying at that small cabin near the lake on the East end of campus. Do you know the one?"

I nod, remembering one of several old guardian watch-posts that line the school grounds. They aren't used how they once were, as small residences for school guardians who kept an eye on the edges of campus. However, they have the basics of a small home and make a decent place for Tasha to stay during her visit.

"I've told Christian to meet me there later. I found some old-school strap on ice skates and it looks like the pond has frozen over. If you find yourself with some extra time, you should drop by. Who knows, maybe we can continue those skating lessons you wimped out on all those years ago."

I give a small laugh at the memory of one of the few dates we attempted years ago. She insisted on going ice skating and while she was able to glide and spin across the frozen expanse like it was second nature, my balance had a workout simply trying to make it from point A to point B. I still remember her teasing me about my lack of usual grace. She offered to help me improve, but the relationship fizzled back into our easy friendship before we ever made it back.

With a small parting kiss on the cheek and a promise to drop by later if I'm able to, I made my way back to the gym.

I was barely in the gym three minutes before Rose burst through the locker room door and hit the nearest practice dummy just left of center chest.

"There!" She shouted with a grin. "The heart is there, and the sternum and the ribs are in the way." The thought that she looks like a kid in a candy store is only confirmed when she turns back towards me with pleading eyes and a touch of excitement in her voice. "Can I have the stake now?"

I gave a silent nod, accepting her answer but not giving into her pride at figuring out something she probably should have known before this morning. Instead, I countered her answer with another question.

"And how do you get through the sternum and the ribs?"

Instead of a proper answer, she let her head fall back with an exaggerated sigh. I rolled my eyes at her dramatics before I spent the next twenty minutes showing her the answer. She practiced empty handed, watching and mimicking my movements while I adjust her wrist and angle of entry. She picked up fast, but she wouldn't be the first student to sprain something by using the improper technique. She's still behind her classmates in some regards, especially when it comes to the stake, but I have no doubt she'll master this as quickly as she has mastered everything else thus far.

As soon as I feel confident that she's gotten the technique down, I grab my old stake – what will soon be her stake – from my bag. With nothing but a smile, I offered it to her.

The look of confused shock on her face surprised me. She hesitated to accept it, though I can tell that she wanted to.

"You're giving it to me?" she asked incredulously.

"I can't believe you're holding back." The sudden shyness amused me and I couldn't help but tease her for it. "I figured you'd have taken it and run by now."

"Aren't you always teaching me to hold back?" she returned.

"Not on everything."

"But on _some_ things."

The double meaning in her tone knocked me back a bit, but I quickly realized that it seemed to surprise her as much as it had surprised me. It was unintentional, perhaps even subconscious. Still, it took a moment for either of us to look at one another.

It had been a while since either of us had referenced our mutual feelings. Long enough that I wondered if they were still mutual. She seemed to be getting closer to Mason recently. Perhaps her feelings towards me had shifted. Perhaps I didn't have the same hold on her that she held on me. It was a depressing thought. Depressing, but inevitable.

_This is how it needs to be_, I reminded myself.

"Of course," I struggled to keep my voice even and unemotional. "It's like everything else. Balance. Know which things to run forward with...and know which to leave alone." I emphasized the last portion, making my opinion on the unspoken matter clear, though it was anything but clear in my own mind.

She met my eyes with understanding that quickly shifted to a sad acceptance as she took a deep breath.

Finally, she reached for the stake in my hand. As she lifted it from my palm, her fingers brushed mine and I felt the familiar spark that often accompanied her touch. If she noticed anything, she didn't acknowledge it, too wrapped up in her careful examination of the weapon.

Her fingertips traced the cool silver almost reverently. Despite my words just moments ago, I found myself wishing that I had the opportunity to study her as thoroughly and with as much devotion as she was currently handling the stake. I imagined my hands running along each curve and plane of her body, committing every inch to memory. It was her question that finally broke my fantasy.

"What should I do first?"

We went over the basics again, with me adjusting her wrist once or twice to account for the weight of the stake. In full teaching mindset, I was mostly able to ignore just how soft her skin was. Soon, she was in front of the practice dummy ready to attempt her first staking. She underestimated to power necessary and only pierced the faux flesh an inch or so. Not nearly enough to be a fatal hit. Her second attempt might have had sufficient force, but she hit the sternum plate within the dummy. Each time, I helped her adjust her position and angle, and with each strike her accuracy became more sure and more deadly.

Perhaps I shouldn't have been surprised at how quickly she learned to pierce the heart. She already had a habit of doing so. I was sure I wasn't the first to succumb to her, and I knew I wouldn't be the last.

By the end of class, it was clear that she was a natural. She hit her intended target more often than not, and did so with a certain type of grace about her. Her breath came harshly with the sharp rise and fall of her chest, her hair coming undone from it's tie. Her eyes shone with fire as she focused on her prey. She was beautiful. She reminded me of the angel that once haunted my dreams, able to avenge or grant mercy on her whim. I couldn't help but adore my angel now incarnate.

"Good. Very good."

She stepped back from her mark and glanced at me with a bit of surprise. "Really?"

"You do it like you've been doing it for years."

She handed her stake back to me with a delighted smile from my praise, and we began to gather our things. I was slipping on my coat when I heard her give a small huff.

"Can I stake that one next time?" She nodded towards a practice dummy with auburn curls. Between that and her sudden anger, I knew her mind had drifted back to her argument with her mother earlier.

"I don't think that would be healthy."

"It's be better than me actually doing it to _her_," she lilted with an almost sadistic undertone. She slung her backpack over her shoulder and quickly exited the gym, leaving me to catch up. I didn't want her to dwell on her anger.

"Violence isn't the answer to your problems," I advised, adjusting my stride to keep pace with her.

"She's the one with the problem," Suddenly, her scowl was exchanged for a witty grin. "And I thought the whole point of my education was that violence _is_ the answer."

"Only to those who bring it to you first. Your mother isn't assaulting you." I paused, briefly flashing to all the times my own father raised his hand to me or my mother and the one time violence against my own parent had been the answer in the end. Shaking off the memories with a cleansing breath, I continued, "You two are just...too much alike, that's all."

"I'm not anything like her!" She snapped, offended by the insinuation before rolling her eyes and adding, "I mean...we kind of have the same eyes. But I'm a lot taller. And my hair's completely different."

I resisted the urge to touch said hair and instead quirked my eyebrow at her half-heartedly playful words. "I'm not talking about your appearances, and you know it."

The facade she was hiding behind slowly melted as she pondered what I had said.

"You think I'm jealous?"

Jealously wasn't what I had in mind, but with that answer, perhaps she felt she was and I couldn't help but wonder why. "Are you? If so, what are you jealous of exactly?"

"I don't know. Maybe I'm jealous of her reputation. Maybe I'm jealous because she's put more time into her reputation than into me. I don't know."

It was quiet as I thought about what she said. It couldn't be easy trying to live up to her mother's reputation, especially when her mother only seemed to acknowledge her when she fell short of it. I felt like Rose was well on her way to creating her own phenomenal reputation that would match, if not surpass her mother's given the chance. Still, she had to know that her mother was an amazing guardian and had earned her notoriety.

"You don't think what she did was great?"

"Yes. No. I don't know. It just sounded like...I don't know...like she was bragging. Like she did it for the glory...for the marks."

My breath halted and my body tensed at those last three words. Instinctively, my hand went to the back of my neck where my own seven _Molnija_ marks were tattooed. Rose understood my feelings better than most about the necessary evil of killing Strigoi and the needless life lost. She knew that I didn't bare my marks with pride, but with a form of guilt.

"You think facing down Strigoi is worth a few marks? I thought you'd learned something from the Badica house."

My obvious disappointment didn't escape her and I could already see the regret forming on her face. "That's not what I -"

"Come on." I cut her off sharply, turning towards the other end of campus.

"What?" She looked between me and her dorm that was in the direction we had been walking towards moments ago.

"I want to show you something."

She nodded and started following me. "What is it?"

"Not all marks are badges of honor."

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note<strong>

* * *

><p>HAPPY 2015 FRIENDS! I hope you had a wonderful holiday season and New Years. Any fun New Year's resolutions you want to share? It was a very busy couple a weeks and I'm glad to be getting back to my normal routine.<p>

I hope you enjoyed Tasha's introduction! It has been fun normalizing her and developing her backstory with Dimitri. Let me know what you think :) I know many people wont like the idea of Dimitri and Tasha being in a past relationship, but to me, this makes the most sense to create a believable future for the story.

I'm currently writing a scene between Janine and Dimitri, and all I can say is that I'm super grateful that I don't have to write many scenes like it. This might have to be the most difficult character relationship I've ever had to pen. Give me an Abe/Dimitri interaction any day! How do you think Janine and Dimitri would interact together?

A note on updating: For the time being, I'm sticking to one update a week. I try to make each update between 3500-5000 words to give it some heft, but I don't feel like I can update quicker at this time. I'm currently in the process of writing Frostbite and another Vampire Academy AU story that should be posted within the next few months. If I am able to get further ahead in this story, I may consider creating a faster posting schedule, but I would hate to do so at the expense of the quality of my work. Thanks for your understanding.


	5. Chapter 5

We followed an unbeaten trail into the woods surrounding campus. Gradually, the noise of students faded and all we were left with was the wild sounds of winter. The snow crunched steadily under our feet and occasionally, the trees above us rustled from birds flitting branch to branch. Rose fell back to use my own footprints as a pathway where the snow was gathered a bit deeper.

About twenty minutes later, our destination came into view.

"What is that?"

The small log cabin was rustic at best and had seen better days. The roof dipped a bit under the weight of the snow, and the paint on the doors and window frames was chipped to the point of nonexistance. Still, with a steady line of smoke rising from the chimney and surrounded by the quiet of the snow-laden evergreens, it had a certain charming quality to it.

"Old watch-post," I replied. "Guardians used to live on the edge of campus and keep watch for Strigoi."

"Why don't they anymore?"

It was a good question. Honestly, with recent events, it would probably be a good idea to have guardians posted out here, I'd even volunteer for the position since it offered a bit more solitude than the cramped living quarters in Guardian Housing. But I knew it wouldn't happen.

"We don't have enough guardians to staff it. Besides, Moroi have warded campus with enough protective magic that most don't think it's necessary to have actual people on guard." I attempted to keep the bitterness from my voice and probably failed miserably.

Soon, the quiet of the woods was broken by distinctly human voices. I could hear Vasilisa's laughter before we rounded the cabin's edge. She and Christian were struggling to move across the iced-over pond without falling and without letting go of one another. I swallowed the small lump of envy at their easy relationship.

Suddenly, despite our near silent movements, Lissa noticed Rose's appearance and called out to her. I couldn't help but wonder if she had a subconscious recognition of Rose's proximity, similar to how the bond allowed Rose to locate Lissa at a moment's notice. They insisted that the bond was one way, but the two had an unnatural ability to find one another.

"Thanks for inviting me to the party," Rose called back with some mock jealousy. At least, I assumed it to be in jest. I knew it wasn't easy for her to give up so much social time to catch up on her training, especially when Princess Vasilisa wasn't bound by the same commitment, regardless of missing almost two years of schooling herself. Rose missed quite a few moments like this with her friends. While I enjoyed the extra time that gave me with her, there were times where I wondered if she felt the same.

"I figured you were busy. And this is a secret anyway. We aren't supposed to be here."

Christian eyed me suspiciously at Lissa's confession. Perhaps he thought I was here to rat them out. His concern was dispelled as soon as Tasha skated towards us.

"You bringing party crashers, Dimka?" She chided cheerfully.

I laughed openly. All three students looked taken aback at our familiarity, though I could understand their surprise. I wasn't exactly known for my social prowess.

"It's impossible to keep Rose away from places she shouldn't be. She always finds them eventually."

Finally, Tasha tossed her ebony hair back behind her shoulders and I heard a quick intake of breath beside me. I glanced at Rose, grateful that she was able to keep any more dramatic reaction at bay.

I couldn't fault her for the small slip though. Tasha's appearance had that effect on many people. She had always been quite beautiful, and even I had fallen prey to her physical charm in my younger years. Her black hair set off the pale blue in her eyes, and her delicate features often rested in a pleasant smile. However, these things were now overlooked by many due to several streaks of purple scarring under her left eye.

I remember her trying in vain to cover the marred skin after Christian's parents willingly turned Strigoi and attacked her in an attempt to reach her nephew - their son. After a few weeks though, Ivan and I had the opportunity to visit her and he had convinced her that her injury wasn't something to hide, but that she should hold her head high and without worry of what others thought. He likened her scars to the marks on my own neck, a sign of strength and willingness to protect those in need of protection. Even then, I felt like my tattoos didn't compare. I fought with training and duty behind me. She defended out of instinct and love.

The encouragement seemed to work though, and I never saw her attempt to conceal them again. If anything, she wore it proudly. Overtime, the scars faded a bit, but they would never heal completely.

Rose recovered quickly from her minor shock, taking Tasha's hand immediately when it was offered.

"Tasha Ozera," she greeted. "I've heard a lot about you, Rose."

I saw Rose flash a look of surprise before glaring at Christian. It stung a little that she didn't even consider that I was the one who had spoken of her.

Tasha seemed to be thinking along the same lines, quirking her eyebrow at me before reassuring Rose with a gentle laugh.

"Don't worry. It was all good."

Christian crossed his arms and smiled smugly. "No, it wasn't."

Lissa smacked his arm while Tasha shook her head in exasperation. Christian just shrugged.

"Honestly," Tasha lamented, "I don't know where he got such horrible social skills. He didn't learn them from me."

Rose took in the surroundings again before changing the subject. "What are you guys doing out here?"

"I wanted to spend some time with these two" she gestured to the young couple, who seemed completely lost in their own world at the moment, "but I don't really like hanging around the school itself. They aren't always...hospitable."

"Because...because of what happened..." The way Rose said it was half in question, half in statement, and overall tinged with a bit of disappointment.

I understood that disappointment. Both Tasha and Christian were often treated like second class citizens because of the choice that Christian's parents made. It didn't matter that they had no influence in the decision that Lord and Lady Ozera had made to willing turn Strigoi, Christian would always unjustly bare the weight of his parents' sins. Perhaps Tasha could have been spared the same fate, but by taking in Christian, she had also been painted with that stigma. Not to mention, the constant reminder of their choice left on her cheek.

Still, she brushed it off like it was nothing. "That's the way it is. But lets not stand out here when we can sit by the fire inside."

It only took a few moments for Tasha to pull out a bag of marshmallows, and the students started toasting them by the fire. They started talking among themselves so Tasha and I fell into our own conversation. It was good to hear about her life and how she has been training at the Dojo. She even asked if I could work with her one afternoon to get some new insight for the self defense class she was leading early next year.

Our conversation flipped between English and Russian, favoring the latter. Tasha was still fluent from her years near St. Basil, though her accent was more pronounced now and always made the words sound slightly off. I'm sure I had the same effect when I spoke English. Still, it was nice to converse in my native tongue for a little while. Despite our race's general heritage, not many people spoke Russian here. Spanish and French were still the most popular language choices, just like any other school in America.

I was so wrapped up in our own conversation, it took me a while to notice Rose watching us with a curious fascination. Christian and Lissa were back in their own world again, leaving Rose to be a silent observer. Before I could think of a way to include her, she addressed Tasha.

"So are you coming on the ski trip?"

I knew Tasha would need to if she was planning on spending the holiday with Christian. Even though it was a last minute plan to move the students to the ski lodge, I'm sure the school had worked with Tasha to get her there as well. She didn't seem worried about it, stretching out to get more comfortable on the chair near the fireplace and offering a lazy nod in reply.

"I haven't been skiing in ages. No time. Been saving all my vacation for this."

"Vacation?" Rose sounded a bit surprised. "Do you have a job?"

Normally, the question would come off as entirely rude. However, Tasha already seemed comfortable with Rose's apparent frankness. Plus, in contrast to Christian's occasional behavior, this was nothing. No one could fault her for her curiosity. It wasn't common for a royal Moroi to work, and despite the fact that they were less than accepted in the royal community, they were still of the bloodline.

"Sadly, yes." Tasha looked anything but sad at the admission. Even if it wasn't necessary for her to work, I'm sure she still would. She couldn't stand idleness in herself or in others. "I teach martial arts classes."

If Rose didn't admire Tasha before, she definitely did now and it was apparent by the approval on her face. While Rose and I had never openly talked about it, I wouldn't be surprised if she felt the same way I did about Moroi learning to fight; everyone should have the tools to physically defend themselves. I had even taught Ivan a few techniques to protect himself if there was ever a need, hoping that there never would be. Against another Moroi, I'm sure he would have been fine. Fighting Strigoi was another matter entirely. Nothing I could have taught him would have prepared him for that.

"What do you think, Rose? Think you could take her?" Christian goaded.

"Hard to say." Rose eyed her playfully, knowing the answer without a doubt. Tasha would never stand a chance against her.

"You're being modest," she replied. "I've seen what you guys can do. This is just a hobby I picked up."

"Now _you're_ being modest," I insisted. "You could teach half the classes here." It wasn't a lie. Tasha may not have the physical strength to overpower the older dhampir students, she still had a good grasp on technique and method.

She scoffed at the notion. "Not likely. I'd be pretty embarrassing to be beaten up by a bunch of teenagers."

I looked at her with a sly grin. "I don't think that's happen. I seem to remember you doing some damage to Neil Szelsky."

Tasha laughed and rolled her eyes, remembering the same incident I was. It was right after my own graduation, the same year Ivan and Tasha's younger cousin, David, had graduated as well. She had attended the post graduation celebration, and Neil had been a bit too aggressive in his attempts to woo Tasha that night. The aftermath was the only thing people were talking about by the end of the night.

"Throwing my drink in his face wasn't actually damage," she smirked. "Unless you consider the damage it did to his suit. We all know how he is about his clothes."

The conversation dissolved into a fit of laughter as she referenced how obsessed he had been about her ruining the silk shirt he had worn that night. If you hadn't known better, you would have thought she had killed his dog in cold blood. Honestly, he might have preferred that.

Eventually, Rose pulled the conversation back on track. "Did you start learning before or after that happened to your face." Yep...there was that frankness.

"Rose!" Lissa hissed before I had a chance to admonish her myself.

Thankfully Tasha didn't seemed offended by the blunt question. Instead she eyed her thoughtfully, almost approving of her candid observation. Perhaps I shouldn't have been surprised. Tasha didn't appreciate people tiptoeing around the obvious.

"After," Tasha finally admitted. "How much do you know?"

"The basics." Rose glanced at Christian, who seemed more intrigued than upset about the direction this was going. I'm sure it had taken quite a bit of time, but Christian seemed to have accepted what had happened so long ago.

"I knew..." Tasha nodded absentmindedly, already fading back to the memory in her mind, "I knew what Lucas and Moria had become, but that still didn't prepare me. Mentally, physically, or emotionally. I think if I had to live through it again, I still wouldn't be ready."

I understood exactly what she was talking about. Nobody, not even those of us who train for years for the exact purpose, are prepared for the first time we face Strigoi. Way too many freeze and pay dearly for it. I glanced at Rose, wondering if she was remembering her first encounter only a few short weeks ago. Reflexively, I rubbed the back of my neck.

"But after that night," Tasha continued, "I looked at myself – figuratively – and realized how defenseless I was. I'd spent my whole life expecting guardians to protect me and take care of me. And that's not to say the guardians aren't capable. Like I said, you could probably take me in a fight. But they – Lucas and Moria – cut down our two guardians before we realized what had happened. I stalled them from taking Christian...but just barely. If the others hadn't shown up, I'd be dead, and he'd..." She faded off, words failing her for a moment.

Christian reached out to take her hand, perhaps reminding her that he was still there. It seemed to revive her voice again.

"I decided that I didn't want to die that way, not without putting up a real fight and doing everything I could to protect myself and those I love. So I learned all sorts of self-defense. And after a while, I didn't really, uh, fit in so well with high society around. So I moved to Minneapolis and made a living from teaching others."

She was being overly nice about her situation. She was practically forced out of court by those who thought her ideas were radical. They may not have physically pushed her through the front gate, but they isolated her and Christian socially until they couldn't stay any longer.

But it did give her a chance to dive into her defensive magic like she couldn't have done otherwise. I had been worried when she had told me that she was practicing magic defensively. It was technically illegal now, but I understood her desire to protect herself. Honestly, I wished more Moroi would share it. I was more than willing to fight for them, but it was a difficult task that could be made much easier by fighting along side someone. Guardian numbers have been declining ever since our races stopped fighting together.

Thankfully, our conversation became much lighter after that. It felt good to catch up and hear what old friends were up to. Despite being more active in Moroi world than Tasha was, her social nature kept her much more in the loop. After another hour or so, I could see daylight starting to break and knew we should be going soon.

Tasha must have noticed the coming dawn as well. She checked her watch before turning to Rose and Lissa, "Where's the best place a girl can go shopping around here?"

The younger two exchanged a pointed glance. "Missoula."

The news didn't seem to thrill her. "That's a couple hours away, but if I leave soon, I can probably still get some time before the stores close. I'm hopelessly behind in Christmas shopping."

Rose pouted dramatically. "I'd kill to go shopping."

"Me too," Lissa chimed, mirroring her friend's expression.

Rose turned her charm on me, giving me hopeful eyes. "Maybe we could sneak along...?"

"No." If it was as easy as just slipping them into the car, I might have given in, but with Lissa attending there would have to be me and at least one other guardian – perhaps two – going with her. Not to mention paperwork and the fact that they had classes tomorrow.

"I'll have to grab some coffee, so I don't fall asleep on the drive in," Tasha declared with a yawn, walking to the small kitchenette and putting on a tea kettle.

"Can't one of your guardians drive you?"

Tasha shot me a sardonic smile before answering Rose. "I don't have any."

"Don't have any...You don't have any guardians?" Her voice was incredulous, and she looked to Christian for confirmation.

"Nope"

"But that's not possible! You're royal. You should have at least one. Two, really."

She wasn't wrong. As someone of royal linage, she would typically be assigned a guardian without question. She had been given one when she was younger. One had passed when she received her scar, and the other had been reassigned just a few weeks later without explanation. She was never assigned another.

Christian scoffed bitterly. "The Ozeras aren't exactly first in line when guardians get assigned. Ever since my parents...died...there's kind of been a shortage."

The implication was clear. His entire family name suffered when Lucas and Moria made their choice, but nobody suffered more than Tasha and Christian. They've been ostracized from their family and the rest of the Moroi society ever since.

"But that's not fair. They can't punish you for what your parents did." Rose wasn't one to let others be pushed around, especially those that she cared about. Despite what she said and how she acted, it was clear that she cared for Christian, if for no other reason than because he made Princess Vasilisa happy. However, her call for justice was starting to get her worked up.

"It's not a punishment, Rose," Tasha insisted, trying to lessen the building tension in the room. "It's just...a rearranging of priorities."

"They're leaving you defenseless. You can't go out there by yourself!"

If Rose was passionate about fighting for the justice of others, Tasha was just as passionate about fighting for her own independence. "I'm not defenseless, Rose. I've told you that. And if I really wanted a guardian, I could make a nuisance of myself, but it's a lot of hassle. I'm fine for now."

I could see Rose wasn't satisfied with the answer, not because she felt Tasha wasn't able to take care of herself, but because she shouldn't have to. Hoping to calm the building storm, I spoke up.

"You want me to go with you?" I offered.

Tasha seemed surprised at my offer. "And keep you up all night? I wouldn't do that to you, Dimka."

"He doesn't mind," Rose interjected before I could protest the issue.

"I really don't." I had to grin at Rose speaking for me. Typically, someone doing so would be an annoyance, but Rose did so with so much enthusiasm and assuredly, that it was almost endearing. If anyone knew me enough to speak on my behalf, it was Rose.

Tasha eyed me hesitantly, before smiling. "All right. But we should probably go soon."

The students gathered their things and I spoke with Tasha, finalizing out plans to meet in a half hour near the gates. By the time we finished, Christian, Lissa, and Rose were out the door.

"I have an extra travel mug. You still like your coffee the same way, right Dimka?"

"Black? Yes. Thank you." We parted, exchanging a kiss on the cheek. "I'll see you soon."

I caught up to Rose quickly, adjusting my pace once I was next to her. She was walking slowly, allowing Christian and Lissa to enjoy some privacy as they walked a few yards ahead.

"So, what do you think of her?" For some reason, Rose's approval of one of the few people I really considered a friend felt important. Her answer made me more anxious than made sense, considering the situation.

"I like her. She's cool."

I felt the tension in my shoulders dissipate with her acceptance.

She was quiet a moment longer, thinking. "And I get what you mean about the marks."

"Oh?" I had practically forgotten our original reason for coming, but I was glad that she didn't.

"She didn't do what she did for the glory. She did it because she had to. Just like...just like my mom did." I could tell that it was hard for her to admit, but I could also see an almost visible weight lift off her shoulders when she did so. "The marks don't matter. _Molnija_ or scars."

I knew that the lesson had hit home, and I was proud of her. "You're a fast learner."

She smiled up at me, and my heart skipped a beat. I was once again overcome with the feeling to take her in my arms, but I glanced towards the pair ahead of us and tried to content myself with just walking along side Rose. I had to be content with walking along side her.

It wasn't long before Rose directed her attention elsewhere. "Why does she call you Dimka?"

I laughed, amused by her short attention span. I had laughed so often tonight, letting down my guard more than I had in a long time, and it was beginning to feel natural. "It's a nickname for Dimitri," I explained.

"That doesn't make any sense. It doesn't sound anything like Dimitri. You should be called, I don't know, Dimi or something."

"That's not how it works in Russian."

"Russian's weird."

"So is English," I insisted, giving into the impulse to defend my home country. Only in the English language can the name Robert be shortened to Bob and Richard's nickname is Dick. I was about to tell her as much when she brushed up against my arm, giving me the sly look that meant she wanted something she knew I'd object to.

"If you teach me to swear in Russian, I might have a new appreciation for it."

I again felt a guilt at her figuring out my vice. I hadn't done much to conceal it, hiding behind the safety of the different language, but it didn't take long for Rose to start understanding my occasional outburst during out trainings. She had frankly called me out on it two weeks ago and has been trying to get me to teach her the meanings ever since.

"You swear too much already," I replied, falling into the same reasoning I always did for this conversation.

"I just want to express myself," she spoke with a overly fake sweetness.

"Oh, Roza..." I sighed, once again fighting the urges that were coming more and more each day. I knew something would have to give soon. "You express yourself more than anyone else I know."

We fell into a comfortable silence as we walked. I peeked down at her, enjoying the opportunity just to be next to her with no other purpose than to just enjoy each other's company. I could see her turning something over in her mind and I waited patiently for her to share it with me.

"You know, there's something funny about Tasha's scars," she started.

"What's that?"

"The scars...they mess up her face..."

I flinched at her words, remembering the abrasive insults that were thrown at Tasha because of her appearance. Still, I could tell Rose was struggling to put together the words, so I gave her the benefit of the doubt. It wasn't like her to ridicule someone on something superficial.

"...I mean, it's obvious that she used to be really pretty. But even with the scars now...I don't know. She's pretty in a different way. It's like...like they're a part of her. They complete her."

I was stunned. Despite what many thought, Rose was actually very mature in many ways. She saw the good in people when many others didn't. She saw beauty where others saw scars. I loved her for it.

"You're a fast learner, Roza." It wasn't what I wanted to say, but I could never say what I really wanted to tell her.

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><p><strong>Authors Note<strong>

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><p><strong>I know many have been waiting for this chapter, so I hope you enjoyed it! I believe Dimitri really did respect and admire Tasha, and I hope that is shown here.<strong>

**The next chapter should be interesting: we get to see what happened on the shopping trip and just how Tasha made her offer! **

**Thank you again for reading, favoriting, following and reviewing. If you haven't left a review yet, I'd love to hear from you! Just remember that if you ask any questions, you need to be a SIGNED IN registered user for me to answer in reply. I try to reply to every review I can (even though it may take a short while) so please feel free to ask or suggest anything you'd like!**


	6. Chapter 6

The drive, despite being long, was pleasant. Between the coffee and conversation, the hours passed much faster than they should. I was surprised that Tasha and I didn't run out of things to talk about. It almost felt like old times, before Ivan's passing. It felt good to let down those walls that I felt like I was constantly working to keep up these days.

"So, a ski trip. That sounds like fun. Are you excited to hit the slops again?" She teased.

"We all know how that turned out last time." I quipped back, not relishing the memory of how sore I had been the next day. "Unfortunately, I'm taking on extra shifts for the trip. Since it's a new location, all of us are putting in a little more time to make sure security is completely covered. The unpredictable nature of some recent attacks have everyone on edge and we aren't taking any chances."

"They have you working a ton here, don't they? I don't remember Ivan ever keeping you so busy..."

"I'm in a bit of a different situation than most of the school guardians. Rose's additional training schedule takes a majority of my extra time." I wasn't complaining, I looked forward to those sessions, but they didn't leave a lot of down time between my shifts.

"Have you ever thought about going back to guarding for families?"

"I'll be guarding Princess Vasilisa as soon as she graduates."

"Yes, but that probably wont be too much of a lighter load. Lissa is the last of her line. She will be under a near constant threat. You'll hardly be able to take a break or relax."

"I'm sure Rose and I will be able to handle it," I assured her.

"Yes, Rose seems nearly as dedicated as you," I could hear her clear approval of Roza, even through her playful jibe at us. "Quite a little student you found yourself there. I'm sure you two can handle anything, but should you have to? Wouldn't you like to have something closer to normalcy?"

I laughed softly, almost charmed by the fact that she thought it was possible for me – for any guardian – to have something akin to normalcy. "That would be nice Tasha, but normalcy doesn't really factor into the guardian lifestyle."

"But what if it could?"

She sounded so hopeful. Hopeful enough that I actually felt a bit ashamed of how annoyed it made me feel. I didn't say anything to her though. I knew she didn't mean to strike a nerve in me. She didn't understand that no matter how much I wanted it, I would never have the opportunities that she had. Instead I smiled, albeit humorlessly.

"Tasha, if you can find a way to get me the 'wife, kids, and white-picket-fence' lifestyle, then I'm all ears."

Our conversation stalled for a while after that, both of us slipping into quiet personal contemplation.

Tasha simply stared out the window at the gradually changing scenery. Within a moment or two, she had become so preoccupied with her thoughts that she didn't notice that she was biting at a fingernail. It was an old habit of hers that I knew she had been trying to kick for years, but for a moment, it was nice to see that some things never changed. I decided to look away rather than call her out on it. I had my own mind to contend with at the moment.

Many of my own thoughts fell into the realm of self pity. Most days, I was content with my lot in life. I knew that I was fulfilling a needed role, I was good at what I did, and I was helping others. However, it was getting harder and harder to simply remain satisfied. I wanted more. I wanted things that I couldn't have. I could feel that frustration eating away at me.

Thankfully, I wasn't left to stew in my disappointment too long. After some time in her own quiet thoughts, Tasha brought back the conversation to lighter topics.

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><p>Like I had done with Ivan on these sort of outings, I stayed as a near guard to Tasha. It was nice not to hide in the shadows. We talked, and she even asked my opinion on a few of the gifts she was purchasing.<p>

She did surprised me when she said she wanted to pick up something for Rose. It was a bit odd that she was so set on getting something for a girl that she had only met a few hours ago, but it wouldn't be the strangest impulse that Tasha had given into. Perhaps the two had somehow hit it off better than I had thought.

"I'm thinking a dress. Poor thing spends all day with you and a whole bunch of novice boys, doing nothing more than learning to fight and discussing guardian strategy. She probably doesn't get nearly enough opportunities to show off the fact that she's a girl. I wonder if those boys have even noticed!"

I'm fairly certain they were aware just how feminine Rose was. From personal experience, it was difficult to miss. I've seen enough of her classmates staring at her to know I wasn't alone.

"What about this one? She'd be stunning in it!" She pointed to something behind me, and simply based on her excitement, I was terrified to look.

It was high-necked with an Asian flare, but it was easy to see that the fabric would cling to her curves dangerously. I couldn't quickly think of a way to dissuade Tasha's choice without her asking questions.

"What do you think, Dimka? Black or Red? They have both in her size."

"Red." I said it a bit too quickly, before she had even finished her last question. The last thing I needed was Rose in another black dress.

Tasha didn't seem to notice anything though. "You're right. Rose deserves to stand out. Red will suit her better."

I gave a small breath of relief as she brought the dress to the front counter.

She quickly finished the rest of her shopping and offered to help me with any of mine. I declined. Anything that I was planning to send to my family had been sent out over a week ago. The only other person I could imagine shopping for was Rose. Part of me wanted to, but I wasn't sure how to toe that line without overstepping our tenuous mentor and student relationship.

With nothing else to do, we ordered some food from a near by burger place before returning back to the Academy. We were about halfway through our lunch before our light conversation took a heavy turn once again.

"Did you mean it?" Her question was so completely out of left field that I had not clue what she was talking about.

"Excuse me?"

She swiped another one of my french fries, and with a grin, repeated her question. "Did you mean what you said earlier about listening to any idea I had about giving you that white-picket-fence you wanted."

I had meant it sarcastically, but from the look of Tasha's face, she had taken it to heart and actually had something in mind. While I doubt that it would ever work, I couldn't say I wasn't intrigued. I quirked my eyebrow and waited for her to continue.

"Be my guardian."

I nearly chocked on my sip of water, barely catching myself before I made a fool of myself.

She continued on, all her words now rushing together. "You know that guarding me would be different than guarding nearly any other Moroi. You know that I can hold my own. Even today, you've been able to relax more than I'm sure you ever had with a charge. Admit it."

She had me there. Subconscious or not, I knew that Tasha wasn't helpless. If anything, she would be there fighting alongside me whether I wanted her to or not. Don't get me wrong, I was still on alert. I had been watching the area and scanning for threats, but I typically didn't typically converse and interact with those that I was guarding like this.

"You're right, Tasha. I have been acting differently with you than I would with someone else. But why do you even want to have a guardian? You haven't requested one in years."

"Oh, I could care less about having a guardian to protect me and you know it," she waved off my question flippantly. "I'm more concerned about you. You deserve better than what fate has handed you, Dimitri. All you guardians deserve better. However, I can't personally help every single one of them. I can offer you a way out though."

"A way out? I like what I do Tasha. Sure, my career comes with some downsides, but I can't imagine doing anything else."

"And you wouldn't be doing anything else," she insisted. "You would still be a guardian. But when it comes to guarding, does it really matter who your charge is? I'm no Princess Dragomir, I know, but perhaps I do have a little bit more to offer than she does as a charge."

Guarding the last Dragomir was a high honor. I had been surprised when they assigned me to her. However, with Vasilisa's unique situation, she would be constantly under threat. I couldn't find a more active position other than on the Royal Guard for the Queen herself. "And what exactly are you offering?"

She looked away, hesitant and almost...shy? Tasha was typically confident in everything she pursued, using it to push through the opinions others flung on her based on her physical appearance. Seeing even a little insecurity from her made me wonder.

"Well...in time...perhaps...our relationship could change. We ventured down that path once and it was cut short, perhaps before its time."

She was talking about our brief relationship years ago. It had been before Ivan's death, a year or so after my graduation. It had lasted a handful of weeks before my job as Ivan's guardian and the travel that it entailed had put too much distance between us and things simply faded. It was amicable and we had stayed friendly after the breakup, but it was obvious now that whatever we had back then never would have amounted to anything. Or, at least it was to me.

I sat back in our booth, taking in a deep breath and shrugging off the surprise that accompanied her offer.

Perhaps my silence made her nervous, because she quietly added, "You don't have to say anything now."

I looked away without a word, still somewhat stunned at the proposition to fully absorb it, much less make a comment on it.

By the time we finished our meal, it was about time to head back. We loaded up the car and made our way along the nearly empty interstate. This time, the ride was silent when Tasha fell asleep about a half hour into the trip. I was grateful for the silence.

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><p>I helped carry a few of Tasha's bags from the car back to the cabin, the sun low on the horizon. It was only about two hours before I would be up again to start my morning training session with Rose.<p>

"Thank you, Dimka. Your help meant a lot, especially since I know it's going to throw off your whole day." She offered a small apologetic smile as we reached the steps leading up to the cabin's porch. "Are you able to get any rest before you have to work?"

"A little, but I've dealt with worse. Don't worry "

My attempt to reassure her just made her look a bit more sorry. "I know."

I set the bags inside the door, ready to head back and get some sleep. As I said my good bye, I leant down to kiss her cheek in parting.

My lips didn't meet her cheek though. At the last second, she had turned her face just slightly, reaching up to capture my chin and hold me still against her lips a moment longer until my surprise caused me to pull away. I'm sure I must have looked shocked, but if I did, she didn't seem offended by my expression.

"I meant what I said before, Dimitri. About my offer. You don't have to answer right away, I'm not leaving until after the trip, but promise me you'll at least think about it. You deserve everything life has to offer."

"I'll think about it." The words came out unbidden, almost reactionary, but I realized as I made the long walk to my apartment... I actually meant them.

What Tasha was offering was unprecedented. Dhampir men rarely had the opportunity to enjoy married life or fatherhood, at least not without the disgrace of leaving their Guardian position. We had relationships, but they were typically with other dhampirs and they never lasted long. Many Moroi felt dhampirs were beneath them, and the guardian lifestyle wasn't exactly conducive to a serious relationship.

Dhampir women didn't have it much easier. While they often became mothers, it was usually the product of a short term relationship, casual affair, or even just a one night stand. Their pregnancies weren't born out of mutual love and respect, but a need for our race to survive. Two dhampirs couldn't reproduce on their own.

As much as I proclaimed to be fine with my guardian lifestyle, it was lonely. I missed the sounds of my family living around me. I longed for a companion to share my life with. Guarding Ivan had abated some of solitude, but I always felt the odd sensation as if I was intruding on someone else's home and family. I felt certain that the feeling would follow with any charge I had, including Vasilisa. I would always be a stranger, wherever I lived.

What Tasha was offering was different though. Yes, on paper, I would be guarding her. She would be my charge. But she could never _just_ be my charge. She was a friend. She could be more. She could allow me to be more. But could I really allow myself that?

I was leaving the cover of the wood, heading back towards the guardian apartments when I passed Janine. She must have been on a patrol. I couldn't think of any other reason for her to be out at this time. I nodded respectfully in greeting.

"Guardian Belikov, right?" She stopped beside me.

"Yes ma'am."

"We haven't formally been introduced. I'm Guardian Janine Hathaway." She really didn't need an introduction her reputation was well known and well deserved.

I took her offered hand with a firm shake. "It's nice to meet you."

"I hear that you are to thank for my daughter's continued enrollment here and the progress she has made in the past few months. I'm grateful that you have invested so much into her education. I can only hope she proves herself worthy of it."

I winced internally, hearing the near tangible disappointment she held for Rose. "She's a great student. She's had her struggles, but she has really improved and I honestly believe that she has the potential to be an amazing guardian. Truly, it's a pleasure to work with her."

She scoffed. "I appreciate you saying that, but I know better than anyone that she can be a handful. Still, I wouldn't mind watching one of your training sessions. Guardian Petrov has given me a few progress reports, but I would like to see what she can do with my own eyes."

"I'm sure that could be arranged. We typically have a morning session at six, but it may be better for you to attend our evening session. I just came off an overnight assignment and will most likely have her complete some strength and cardio exercises on her own instead of working on technique and training." I wanted to show Rose at her best, and while I had no doubt that she would perform well while her mother was watching, I knew she would do even better when we both weren't tired.

"I have a better idea, if you'll allow it. Why don't you get some rest, and I can work with Rose this morning." It was technically a suggestion, but her tone made it clear that I shouldn't turn her down. There was a sternness in her voice, but I could also see a small hint of pleading, as if she wanted some alone time with Rose but needed a reason.

I was still a bit hesitant. Rose's relationship with her mother was near non-existent. What _was_ there was tinged in bitterness. After the scene in Alto's class, I was sure that a mediator would be needed. However, perhaps it would be better just to let the two of them get their frustration out and move forward from there.

I agreed, and she looked immediately relieved. I had now doubt that Rose would give me an earful for my decision, but that was a fight for another day.

Once I made it to my apartment, I couldn't wait to let my day end. There had been too much information today; too much to think about. I knew I should get some sleep. The extra hours I secured from passing Rose's morning training session off to her mother would still only take the edge off my exhaustion.

I couldn't get my mind to settle though. For the first time in months, I wished Ivan was here to talk to. I haven't felt his absence so strongly in a long time.

Eventually, the physical need for sleep won out and I drifted into unconsciousness.

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><p><strong>Author's Note<strong>

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><p><strong>There you have it: the much anticipated Shopping scene. What did you think?<strong>

**Do you guys realize just how HARD it was to write Tasha's offer and make it feel somewhat natural and non-creepy to the point where Dimitri would actually consider it? It wasn't easy, I'll tell you that. I hope that I was able to accomplish my goal for you lovely readers though. **

**How do you feel about Janine and Dimitri's small interaction here? There will be another, much more in depth conversation between them soon. I've created a pretty interesting relationship between Dimitri and Abe (See my story _Dimitri's_ _Debt_) and I hope to have an equally intriguing relationship between Janine and Dimitri. It will be different, and it will be unexpected, but I'm quite happy with it. **

**Thank you again for reading, reviewing, favoriting, and following. Please don't forget to leave me your thoughts! I always love to hear from you guys!**


	7. Chapter 7

I awoke fairly refreshed, considering the amount of sleep I had gotten, but I was still hesitant to think too much on everything that happened last night while I was with Tasha. Instead, I went through the motions of my daily life. My first stop was the guardian lounge on campus. I started another shift in the classrooms soon and wanted to grab something to eat before I went on duty.

When I entered the room, it was clear that the focus of the others were directed at one single person. A mess of red curls was sitting at the far table, filling out some paperwork. With her reputation, it wasn't a surprise that Janine intrigued the other Guardians. I ignored their hushed whispers, grabbing and apple and some coffee before sitting across from her.

I was about to ask how the morning training had gone when I noticed the form she was working on. It was an incident report. I had just filled one out myself, less than two weeks ago. It was uncommon to need them, only when a student was seriously hurt or placed in a dangerous situation. I could only imagine one reason why she would be submitting such a report: something had happened between her and Rose.

"Guardian Hathaway."

She jumped a little at my voice, apparently so focused on what she was writing that she didn't even notice that I had sat down. In any other circumstance, I might feel a bit prideful that I was able to surprise her, but the look on her face made me think that nearly anyone could have caught her off guard at the moment. She looked distracted, and when she realized it was me, I could see a wave of guilt rush over her.

Her eyes flickered away before she returned my greeting. "Good morning, Guardian Belikov."

"May I ask how Rose's practice was today?"

Another wave a guilt radiated from her. She tapped the pen against the table a few times before, with a sigh, she pushed the paperwork towards me.

I only needed to read the first few lines to get a summery of what had happened:

_Type of injury (if any): facial trauma and concussion resulting in loss of consciousness_

_Medical assistance needed: yes_

_Injured party: Rosemarie Hathaway, student_

_Location of incident: Gym, room 2b_

Janine hadn't finished writing the description of the incident, so I looked back towards her for an explanation.

"I don't know exactly how this happened really. I never meant to hurt her. I would never intentionally hurt her. I just...somehow I lost control." She looked away defeated, her lips set in a hard line as her hand tugged gently at her red curls. Still, I could tell that her anger was directed inward, towards herself. "She can just be so...frustrating. I don't know how you can deal with her."

It seemed my initial worry about leaving the two Hathaway women alone wasn't completely unfounded. Somehow, things had escalated and Janine had hit Rose. I fought the urge to berate her for striking her daughter, but all it took was one look at the woman before me to see that it was unintentional. Not only that, she seemed horrified with the fact that she had injured Rose. Janine was a very precise person, but even the best guardians have their weak points that can make them falter. It seemed like Rose was hers.

_I knew I should have been there_.

I was well aware of just how much Rose could try a person's patience. She had gotten the upper hand on more than a few teachers and guardians, though her mother was the first to physically lash out. I realized we were now alone in the lounge, and decided push the conversation further.

"She's not always easy, but we've learned to work with each other. What did she do? What did she say?"

"We were sparring. I just wanted to get a feel for where she was in her training, perhaps give her a different perspective than what you are able to offer as an instructor. I know I'll never be considered for 'mother of the year' but I do have a few things I can teach my daughter."

The way she said this, so defensively, she reminded me of Rose; her protests usually indicated her insecurities. I knew Rose felt more than a little bitter about the lack of relationship between them, but I also knew that Rose was more likely to hide behind sarcasm and accusations than step forward in a peace offering. Apparently, Rose and her mother had more in common than I had initially thought.

"I know she resents how she was raised here at the Academy and that I was never around. What was I supposed to do though? Leave my career and join a commune? I couldn't do that? And I wasn't going to send her with my cousins to be raised in that lifestyle."

Though I knew she didn't mean any personal insult with her words, I still found myself tensing at them. She had no reason to suspect that I have been raised in the exact lifestyle that she apparently despised. So many people instinctively looked down on the way my family lived, the way I was raised, based on the rumors and the actions of a few. If she noticed my change in posture, it didn't register with her.

"What was I supposed to do?" she repeated. "I didn't have very many options."

I knew I wasn't really in a position to give her a proper answer. I don't think she truly wanted one either. Even if she did, I wouldn't know what to say. Instead, I decided to focus on how the damage might be repaired.

"Rose hasn't led the easiest life. Like you, I think she's just trying to make the best of what she's been given. She doesn't always succeed, but she trying. She has plenty of people she can look up to here, but none of them can ever quite fulfill your role as her parent. I think that's all she wants from you."

She seemed to consider what I was saying, though for a moment she seemed to surprised to realize just who was advising her. After a few minutes and what seemed to be an internal debate between protest and acceptance, she spoke again. Her voice seemed so unsure, I doubt anyone would have guessed that she was the famed guardian her reputation made her out to be.

"What if I don't know how to be a parent?"

I looked away, once again unsure how to respond. Her vulnerability in that moment seemed to spark something in me. Just like Janine, I was unsure how to balance my relationship with Rose and how it contradicted my duty. Everything felt so clear until Rose came into the picture. I briefly wondered if her mother had somewhat similar thoughts nearly eighteen years ago.

"Do you ever regret putting your career before everything else?" The words were out of my mouth before I even had time to contemplate the things running through my mind.

She seemed surprised by the sudden change in topic, but considered the question.

"I wish that was a question that could easily be answered with a 'yes' or 'no'. I know what we do is necessary, important, perhaps even vital. I'm glad that I have been able to perform the duty well..." her voice trailed off, as if suddenly caught in another world that existed a life time ago. "Still, every once and a while, I see everything that I've had to give up to do so and I have to wonder if it was worth it."

I nodded, listening to her words while getting lost in my own situation.

"Unfortunately," she continued, snapping back to our reality with a sense of reluctance, "there aren't many ways to have it all."

I felt the urge to confide in her about Tasha's offer. It had become horribly apparent last night that there weren't many people I felt comfortable confiding in. There was my own mother and perhaps Alberta. However, it didn't feel right confiding in my superior about whether or not to leave my current position. I had thought about discussing the issue with my mother, but there was a small amount of guilt in not calling for quite some time and then bringing something like this to her proverbial doorstep.

Honestly, the person I would have felt most comfortable talking to was Rose. She somehow understood me better than nearly anyone else. However, how could I talk to her about this? Especially when – if I was completely honest with myself – she was part of the reason I was both considering accepting and rejecting the offer.

I once again wished that Ivan was here. He had the uncanny ability to be unbiased when it came to advice. That's what I needed; someone who was honest and impartial. Janine Hathaway seemed as good an option as anyone else at this moment.

"I think..." I started, hesitant and still unsure, "I think I might have an offer that allows me to have more..."

My vagueness must have caught Guardian Hathaway's attention. Both of her eyebrows rose in question as she waited for me to explain further.

"Natasha Ozera has requested me as her Guardian."

She stared at me for a moment, but thankfully she seemed to understand the implication before I felt the need to explain further.

"Wow...that's quite the opportunity for a young man like yourself." The vulnerability I saw earlier suddenly vanishes as an emotionless mask covered her features.

I suddenly felt embarrassed, regretting the decision to consult her. Requests like these were rare, but they weren't entirely unheard of. For some lucky ones, it was a true relationship based on mutual love, and for others it was simply an agreement of convenience. I knew I didn't fall on either extreme, but I wasn't quite sure where I stood in between either. Some people envied the pairing, others looked down on it. I couldn't tell how Janine felt about the matter.

"And one that I know won't happen again," I acknowledged. " I know that it is a great honor to be charged with Princess Vasilisa's protection, and I also feel a certain responsibility towards Rose. To help her complete her training, I mean." It wasn't the full truth, but it wasn't a lie either.

"Guarding the last Dragomir is a great responsibility and honor, but..." she trailed off, choosing her words carefully before continuing, "But if you feel like you could find some personal happiness with Lady Ozera, then I think you should consider it."

It was clear that she had said her peace on the matter when she gave a single nod of finality, and I changed the subject quickly before any more awkwardness settled around us.

"Have you seen Rose since this morning?" I asked.

"No," she replied sharply, back in her full professional mode as she picked up her pen to continue filling out the necessary paperwork. "However, the clinic did call me a short while ago. She woke up without any apparent damage. They are sending her back to class, but she has been understandably excused from any physical training for the rest of the day. I apologize for interfering with your training schedule." Though professional, there was a bit of worry in her tone, and I knew it didn't have anything to do with Rose's training, but with Rose herself.

"Please, Guardian Hathaway, that is the least of my concerns at the moment. I just wanted to make sure she was alright."

Her emotionless mask faltered for just a moment, but it was long enough to see a flash of anxiety and regret before her features hardened into stone once more.

"I'm sure she'll be fine," she remarked coldly.

"I'm sure you're right. This isn't the first time Rose has been sent to the clinic and I'm sure it wont be the last. She has always been fine before, coming out stronger than ever. I have not reason to believe it wont be the same this time around."

It wasn't until I heard her half-hearted agreement that I realized Janine may not have only been concerned with any possible physical damage, but the possible emotional damage and the already too wide chasm in their relationship. I knew better than to comment on it though. The tension in her shoulders and jaw warned me that the untouchable Guardian Hathaway was back, hiding behind her duty and reputation like I had done so many times before.

She didn't acknowledge me as I left for my shift.

I spent the rest of the day successfully avoiding both Rose and Tasha. I didn't know how to face either of them, or what I would say when I couldn't avoid them any longer.

If I knew Rose at all, she would be livid about the altercation with her mother. Part of me wanted to seek her out so I could hopefully diffuse the situation, but the other part of me knew that it was partially my fault it happened at all because I hadn't been there to step in earlier.

I did get a small glance at her while she was walking between classes. She didn't seem to notice me as she walked between Eddie and Mason, the boys acting as a physical barrier from the mocking glares from some of the other students. It seemed that word of the situation must have gotten out. Rose wasn't new to being the subject of the rumor mill unfortunately, but at least it had given her a thick skin. She hardly acknowledged those looking down on her. From this distance, I couldn't see any apparent physical marks from this morning, but the fact that she was up and around today was enough to assure me that she was alright.

If Tasha was somewhere on campus today, I simply didn't see her. I was grateful that she was giving me some space to think things over. I knew I wouldn't have long though. Eventually she would want an answer one way or another.

Thankfully, work provided a some excuse to be distant and closed off. After my required shifts, I simply retired to my room. I attempted to read one of my novels, but after staring at the same line for nearly fifteen minutes, I knew I was too distracted to focus on even that simple task. The silence of my apartment did nothing to quiet my mind, so I turned to the small collection of DVD's at the end of my book collection. Perhaps predictably, most were Westerns starring John Wayne, but there was one on the end that caught my eye.

I pulled out the small case, the familiar face of aforementioned John Wayne and leading lady Maureen O'Hara greeting me. Instead of the open landscape of the Old West though, they were backed by the rolling green hills of Ireland.

I laughed, remembering only a few weeks ago when I was telling Rose about this exact movie.

* * *

><p>She had caught me sneaking another page or two of my current novel before practice, and wasted no time before beginning her teasing.<p>

"Between those and your John Wayne movies, it's a surprise you didn't learn English with a Southern drawl."

I smirked over the page. "Who said I didn't? Thankfully, I dropped it fairly early in school."

"Hmm, a Russian Southern drawl...wonder what that sounds like?" She gave me a hopeful look.

"You will never know. However, for your information, John Wayne did more than just Westerns."

"Yes, he had a whole mess of war movies too, right?"

"Yes, and even a few romantic comedies." I caught the disbelief on her face but continued on. "Have you ever seen The Quiet Man? It's one of my mother's favorites. She was a big fan of Maureen O'Hara. We used to watch it together every year on my birthday." For a moment, I was back on that small couch, sitting next to my mother with a bowl of popcorn between us.

"That seems nice." She seemed a bit lost in the image herself.

"It was."

* * *

><p>Alone in my apartment, I slipped in the DVD, listening to the familiar score start playing. I was quickly reminded why I shouldn't be so open and personal with Rose, because for the briefest moment, I wasn't remembering the past but imagining an unattainable future. For the briefest moment, I could imagine celebrating my birthday by watching this movie with a bowl of popcorn in my lap, but instead of my mother beside me, Roza is tucked under my arm.<p>

I shook the heartache from my mind, choosing instead to get lost in the story, speaking along with some of my favorite quotes:

"_...some things a man doesn't get over so easy...like the sight of a girl coming though the field with the sun on her hair..."_

As the movie finally came to it's happy ending, I replaced the DVD in it's case and hesitated before placing it back on the shelf.

I was still undecided on if I should get Roza a Christmas present, and if I did decide to do so, what I would give her. It was a precarious balancing act. Nothing I could think of seemed right. If the item wasn't too personal, it was practically offensive in it's impartiality. As soon as the idea struck however, I couldn't think of anything better. Giving her this DVD would be like giving a small piece of myself to her, without being too obvious to cause questions between us or anyone else for that matter.

I wrapped it in a small piece of brown paper, setting a mental reminder to find some sort of string or ribbon to tie into a bow. In the corner, I wrote her name, faltering for a moment after the 'o' as I debated whether or not to follow it with a 'z'. Erring on the side of caution and propriety, I finished with her given name and set it aside.

I doubted that it would ever happen, but I hoped that when she watched it – if she ever watched it, of course – that she would imagine me sitting next to her, enjoying it with her. Perhaps she would understand the small hidden message behind the gift. It was bittersweet to think about. Our day dreams would never quite live up to reality, but that reality would always be outside our grasp.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note<strong>

* * *

><p><strong>This was such a fun chapter to write! Not gonna lie, I'm very interested in what you think of my take on the conversation between Dimitri and Janine. I'm sure it wasn't what some of you were expecting, but I don't think he flew off the handle with her. I also think Janine would have been in a fairly vulnerable emotional state after what happened (well, as vulnerable as she gets for the most part) and perhaps Dimitri just has a way with the reaching out to the Hathaway women. I think he would have tried to be as calm and logical with her as possible, and being a child who was familiar with abuse, he would have known the difference between an heat of the moment reaction and something done with the intent to harm. <strong>

**As far as Dimitri confiding in Janine, I think he needed someone to talk to just as much as she did. I also think her experience with Abe would have made her more likely to suggest that he consider his personal happiness, especially when she was being faced with just how much her own personal relationships have suffered because of her priority on her career. I would love to hear your opinion though.**

**Finally, a big shout out to my favorite John Wayne movie: The Quiet Man. Actually, it's one of my top ten movies...period. If you haven't seen it yet, it is on Netflix (at least in the USA) and I highly recommend you watch it at least once. I can totally see a young Dimitri enjoying this movie over and over again through the years with his mother, perhaps as a private tradition just between them. **

**I would really love to hear from you! Have you seen the The Quiet Man? What do you think Dimitri would have given Rose as a Christmas gift? Do you think it's a bit strange that they don't have exchanging anything, or even Rose THINKING about offering him something for Christmas in the book? How do you think Dimitri would have reacted to learning about the news of Rose's injury and why do you think he didn't seek her out to make sure she was alright afterwards. Do you think Janine would have encouraged Dimitri to take Tasha's offer? Why or why not?**

**As always, thank you for reading, reviewing, favoriting or following. It's always a pleasure to hear from you guys!**


	8. Chapter 8

I was surprised to see Mason leaving the gym when I went to set up for the morning practice the next day.

"Guardian Belikov," he greeted as we passed each other, he gave me a grin and a mock salute.

"Ashford."

It wasn't typical for any student to be up this early, and not only was he awake, he looked thrilled. The smile on his face made me wonder what could have put it there. Perhaps he was just a morning person. Just because Rose couldn't stand the early mornings...

_...Rose..._

The realization hit me hard, knocking the wind from my chest like a physical strike.

I made it through the door before it even had a chance to close behind Mason. Rose looked almost giddy for a moment, watching him leave, but her demeanor instantly changed when she quickly looked away as soon as I came into view. She pointedly avoided eye contact with me, and I couldn't help but wonder what she was hiding. She looked almost...guilty. What did she have to be guilty about? Did it have anything to do with why Mason was here earlier?

The more she avoided me, the more aggravated I got. I instructed her to start working with the dummies using the moves we had practiced a few days before, occasionally correcting her form from a distance. I could hear that everything I said was unnecessarily sharp and abrupt, but I couldn't let it go. I was tired of her ignoring me. Eventually, I hit my breaking point.

"You're hair's in the way," I called out. "Not only are you blocking your peripheral vision, you're running the risk of letting your enemy get a handhold."

"If I'm actually in a fight, I'll wear it up." She snipped back between forceful jabs to the dummy. "I'm just wearing it down today, that's all."

"Rose," I implored, begging for her to just acknowledge me.

She continued her attack as if I wasn't even there.

"Rose! Stop."

She finally hesitated, her breath quick and heavy, as if trying to catch up. My command must have won out over her defiance. She slowly stepped away from the dummy and backed herself up against the wall. Even then, she refused to meet my eyes, stubbornly looking towards the ground.

"Look at me," I ordered. I was rarely so forceful with her, but she was rarely so obstinate with me.

"Dimitri -"

"_Look at me."_

She stopped, and while she didn't respond right away, I knew she would. Despite everything else between us, I was still her instructor and she wouldn't disobey a direct order from me.

After a moment, she slowly tilted her head up. Her hair still obscured most of her face though. Instinctively, I reached out to brush it away from her eyes and tuck it behind her ear.

As soon as I raised my hand, I saw her stiffen and heard her breath hitch. It was enough to make me falter. Did she not want me to touch her? Rose had never shied away from be before. That hurt more than anything else; more than seeing her with Mason, more than her avoidance all morning, even more than her refusing to look me in the eye now. I pulled away, not wanting to make her any more uncomfortable.

She relaxed just a moment before flipping her hair back and revealing a growing bruise under her eye that looked like it would spread across her cheek bone and even the bridge of her nose. It was much worse than I had imagined.

I clenched my hand into a fist at my side to keep me from cupping her cheek in my palm. _She doesn't want you...she doesn't need you for comfort, _I reminded myself.

"Does it hurt?" I asked, trying to keep my voice even.

"No." Her eyes flashed to the left, a sure sign that she was lying to me.

"It doesn't look so bad. It'll heal." I could hear the harsh bitterness in my voice as I turned away from her. I didn't even try to hide it. I hated that Roza was shutting me out. I know things weren't ideal between us, but we had always tried to make the best of it. Now she couldn't even bother to tell me the truth?

"I hate her," she hissed, with more venom than a poisonous snake. I felt that odd chill at her words, the same one that I had noticed back at the Badica house.

"No, you don't." I wasn't sure if I was trying to convince her, or myself.

"I do."

"You don't have time to hate anyone. Not in our profession." If Rose could truly hate her own mother, than she could hate anyone, including me. I couldn't stand the thought of her hating me, and knowing that I had the perfect reason for her to do so just killed me. "You should make peace with her."

"Make peace with her?" she repeated with a laugh, more bitter than sweet. "After she gave me a black eye, _on purpose?_ Why am I the only one who sees how crazy that is?"

"She did _not_ do it on purpose." I've seen what a parent looks like when they beat you on purpose. I remember how my father had looked at me. No matter how angry Janine was, no matter how upset Rose had made her, I knew wholeheartedly that what happened had been a mistake. Just looking at Janine afterward had been enough to confirm that to me.

"No matter how much you resent her, you have to believe that," I insisted. "She wouldn't do that. I saw her later that day. She was worried about you."

She rolled her eyes, clearly not believing me. "Probably more worried someone will bring her up on child abuse charges."

I knew I wasn't going to get anywhere with her when she was acting like this. I let out a heavy breath, already tired of arguing. "Don't you think this is the time of year for forgiveness?"

"This isn't a Christmas special!" She ran her fingers though her hair and worrying her lip before turning on me again. "This is my life. In the real world, miracles and goodness just don't happen."

The fact that Rose, still so young, could already be so jaded towards the world was heartbreaking. Part of me understood – she had been though a lot in such a short time – but the idea that she had already stopped believing in miracles and goodness in the world?

"In the real world, you can make your own miracles," I urged, trying to reassure her.

My word backfired though. Instead of calming her, I saw a flash of fire in her eyes. It was just a spark, but that was all it took to start an inferno.

"Okay, can you just stop this for once!"

"Stop what?"

"The whole profound Zen crap thing." Her voice rose steadily higher until she was practically shouting at me. Her hands flipped between pulling at her hair in frustration and gesturing wildly. "You don't talk to me like a real person. Everything you say is just some wise, life-lesson nonsense. You really do sound like a Christmas special. I swear, sometimes it's just like you want to hear yourself talk! And I _know _you aren't always this way..."

And then I saw it. For the first time this morning, she met my eyes and all I could see was pain. She was angry at me, annoyed with me, but she was also hurt because of me...

"...You were perfectly normal when you talked to Tasha." Her voice was softer now, betraying her vulnerability, even through her fury. "But with me? You're just going through the motions. You don't care about me..." She said something else after that, but I didn't hear it.

"I don't care about you?" I asked, not quite believing what she just said. Could she really believe I didn't care about her? After everything...she thought I didn't care?

"No," she confirmed resentfully. I felt my own temper slipping as she physically pushed me away from her. "I'm another student to you. You just go on and on with your stupid life lessons so that -"

I couldn't take it any more. I snatched her hand that was jabbing my chest and pinned it against the wall behind her. I was done with her unfounded anger and accusations. Not when I spent every morning, every night, _every damn day_ thinking about her.

"Don't tell me what I'm feeling." I was practically growling at her.

Rose looked nervous for a moment, perhaps shaken by my tone or the fact that I had physically pushed back. I would never actually hurt her, but I had never been so rough with her outside of sparring practice either.

She stared at me, wide-eyed and as tense as I was. But then she did something I didn't expect: she smiled. She smiled, self-satisfied, as if she had just discovered one of the great mysteries of the world.

"That's it, isn't it?"

"What?" I asked, worried about what could make her look so pleased with herself at this moment.

"You're always fighting for control. You're the same as me." She seemed almost amused at the thought.

I wasn't though. She had hit too close to the mark. Sure, I could keep my control when it came to many – most – things, but her...she broke through that practiced skill without resistance. She could make me want to scream and yell one moment, and take her to bed the next. She tested my limit every day, and the thought that one person could affect me so much terrified me.

"No," I insisted, trying to lie to her for both our sakes, "I've learned my control."

She saw right though me. "No. You haven't. You put on a good face, and most of the time, you do stay in control. But sometimes you can't. And sometimes..." she leaned forward, lowering her voice in a way that my heart race uncontrollably, "sometimes you don't want to."

"Rose..." I couldn't tell if I was begging her or warning her. I knew what she wanted to do, what I wanted her to do...yes, I was begging her. I was begging her to stop. I was begging her to do what I couldn't.

Her eyes flickered to my mouth just a moment before I felt her lips crash against mine. It was wrong – so, so wrong – but I didn't want to be right at the moment. All I wanted was this. All I wanted was her. Weeks of memories and dreams were nothing compared to what was happening right now. It was volatile, it was desperate, but it was us.

This was the first kiss we'd shared since the charm. This was the first kiss that was truly just me and her. Even without the compulsion of earth magic, it was just as powerful and all encompassing. Perhaps even more so with the knowledge that she had been the one to kiss me. The self doubt that I had felt moments ago was forgotten in the blink of an eye.

I closed the last remaining distance between us, pressing her against the wall and trapping her against me. I could feel her fingers of her free hand grasp at my shirt, holding me close to her. Her lips parted easily at my bidding. The kiss was an urgent, cathartic release of the passion and anger that had built up between us. It was as emotional as it was physical, and things were definitely getting physical. I heard her sigh as she rocked her hips into mine, breaking my trance like a bucket of ice water.

All at once, I could see what has happening between us. Even worse, I could imagine how things would look to anyone else who happened upon us.

I used the wall to push away suddenly, before my mind had a chance to convince me to do otherwise. I took a few more steps away just to be sure. My throat felt tight and it I couldn't seem to catch my breath. _Shit, what did I just do..._

Rose looked surprised at my abruptness.

"Do _not_ do that again," I scolded, somehow even more frustrated now than I had been before.

"Don't kiss me back then," she shot back in defiance.

She was right. As much as I would like to defect the responsibility, I was just as much to blame as she was. I wanted to kiss her. Hell, if I was honest with myself, I still wanted to kiss her. I couldn't admit that though, I had to continue this stupid act that was eating me up inside. I slowly counted to ten, making sure I was composed before speaking again.

"I don't give 'Zen lessons' to hear myself talk," I insisted. "I don't give them because you're another student. I'm doing this to teach you control." My argument sounded weak, even to me.

Apparently, it didn't fool her either. I could see her disappointment in me as she rolled those pretty brown eyes.

"You're doing a great job."

I took a deep breath, pinching the bridge of my nose and trying to count to ten again. I got to three before I decided it was worthless.

_I can't do this anymore,_ I muttered to myself, opting for my native tongue. Then I walked out the door, leaving without bothering to dismiss her.

I had let her down. I would always let her down.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note<strong>

* * *

><p><strong>I hope you enjoyed! This was one of the most anticipated chapters from many of you (closely followed by meeting Adrian!) and I went crazy trying to make sure I got it right. I <em>might<em> have even had my husband press me against the wall to kiss me to make sure I had chosen a _single word_ correctly. Okay...that wasn't too much of a sacrifice on my part but still, the things I do for you guys :) **

**As I predicted, the last chapter was met with some mixed reviews, especially concerning the conversation between Dimitri and Janine. I'm grateful for everyone that shared their thoughts with me, whether or not they agreed. A BIG thank you for everyone doing so respectfully. I have yet to truly receive a nasty review and that means a whole lot. I don't expect everyone to automatically agree with what I've written, but I do appreciate the opportunity to discuss different thoughts about a scene rather than attempting to ignore insults. **

**Many of you discovered The Quiet Man for the first time last week and have written back to tell me how much you enjoyed it! I'm so glad! I love hearing things like that. Many others have asked if there is any way I can increase updates to more than just once a week, and I'm sorry to say that I am currently updating as often as I am able. Unfortunately, real life is relentless and while I wish I could simply write all day long, my children demand to be fed on a regular basis. **

**Thank you again for reading, reviewing, following and favoriting! I absolutely love writing for you guys and it makes my heart happy to hear your thoughts. Please feel free to ask me anything. I've gotten to know many of you better and it all started with a review.**


	9. Chapter 9

I still wasn't used to waking up Christmas morning alone. Granted, I also wasn't used to celebrating it on December 25th rather than January 7th like we did in Russia, but that was a minor issue compared to the overwhelming feeling of loneliness that surrounded celebrating a holiday by yourself. I had always spent my Christmas break with my family while I was in school, and then with Ivan before he passed. You might think some of the sting would fade over time, but I still woke up each year missing the traditions and celebrations of home.

My mom used to make a traditional rice porridge for breakfast that we would top with honey, poppy seeds, berries and toasted nuts. Babushka would pass the gifts to us one by one as we sat in front of the fireplace. We all went to church that day, and if I close my eyes, I can still smell the distinctive earthy scent of the frankincense and myrrh incense that drifted through that little chapel in my hometown.

Thankfully, even though I was on my own this morning, I wouldn't be alone all day. Tasha was hosting a small brunch in the parlor of the guest housing building after the morning church service. It promised to be a fairly small affair since Tasha tended to avoid larger gatherings, and would honestly struggle to fill a guest list even if she wanted to host a large banquet. My guess was that it would only include Tasha, me, Christian, Lissa, and Rose.

I wasn't entirely sure I was ready to see Rose again. Try as I might, I couldn't get my nerves to calm. I simply couldn't stop thinking about that kiss. I had canceled the rest of our training sessions leading up to the ski trip with a pathetic excuse about finalizing security plans, but it was just a cover to buy me more time as I tried to figure out what I was going to do about this entire mess.

The thing was...I really wasn't sure if I could keep this charade up anymore. Whatever this non-relationship we had going on was driving me insane. We were bound to snap at some point. I should have seen it coming, but I was too busy desperately trying to keep my head on straight around her.

Perhaps if this attraction between us was purely physical, we could just get it out of the way after she graduated and we both could move on in life. But it wasn't like that. I wasn't that guy, and despite all the ugly rumors, she wasn't that type of girl. I knew better. It had never been like that with us. I wasn't attracted to her body and how she looked. Well, I wasn't attracted to _just_ those things. I had fallen for all of her. Every piece of her inside and out. Every scar, every flaw; they made her the person she was just as much as her talents. I loved her strength, her snarkiness, the way she smiled and the way she could make me smile. I loved everything about her and I knew that if I had the chance to be with her – to show her just how much I loved her – it would not 'get her out of my system' but instead make me an addict. I would need to come back for more or I would drive myself crazy wishing I could.

I had a way out though. I thought about Tasha's offer nearly as much as I thought about Rose's kiss. The problem was, if I was going to share my life with someone and raise a family, the only person I wanted to do that with was Rose.

Tasha was a good person. She had raised Christian well and had proven herself well in a motherhood role, even if she didn't have her own children yet. She also had been a wonderful companion while we were dating, even if our relationship didn't last that long or delve that deep. She and I got along and I enjoyed spending time with her.

I had never really bought into the idea of soulmates. I was confident that nearly any two people could live their life together and find some form of happiness, as long as both parties were willing to work at it and make sacrifices for each other. To that extent, I knew that Tasha and I could have a good life if I accepted. I would do my best to make her happy, and I knew she would do the same for me. But I knew that it would never compare to what Rose and I could have had, if fate would have been kind.

The biggest difference between Rose and Tasha was a simple matter of intensity. Rose could make me feel emotions like I never had before. Nothing between us was halfhearted. When she got on my nerves, she could make me furious. However, when she unknowingly reminded me just how lucky I was to have her in my life now, I wanted to do nothing else but pledge myself to her with a promise to go to the ends of the earth to make her as happy as she made me. The magnitude of what I felt for her made things difficult. She was always driving me crazy in one way or another. It was nearly as painful being with her as it was being without her.

On the other hand, Tasha was comfortable. She was dependable and steady. I felt in control of myself and able to look at things reasonably. While perhaps not as exciting as a relationship with Rose, my experience had taught me that excitement wasn't nearly as productive as reliability. Tasha was the logical choice. Tasha was what I _should_ want. But Tasha simply couldn't compare.

Unfortunately, there wasn't really a comparison at all. Not really. I kept trying to examine one potential relationship against another, when – at the heart of the matter – one of those relationships simply couldn't exist. I couldn't never truly be with Rose. A love life with her was an impossibility. It should have made my choice easy...but it didn't.

After taking as long as I could to get ready – so my mind didn't wonder too far on its own – it was finally time to leave for Christmas brunch. I stared at the package still siting on my night stand. I never did find that ribbon. Rose's present was quickly slipped into one of the inner pockets of my duster and I made my way out into the light snowfall.

* * *

><p>I didn't expect it to be easy to see Rose today, but I didn't expect it to be quite so hard either.<p>

I was prepared to be reminded just how stunning she was. Granted, that fact wasn't something I easily forgot, but seeing her trade in the typical trainers and tee shirts for something a bit more refined always caught my attention. Today was no different.

I was prepared for her to avoid me, ignore me even. I knew she was upset with me, and with how things had ended, she probably thought I was upset with her too. Perhaps I would have been able to pull her aside and repair some of the damage between us, if she hadn't done something I was so completely unprepared for...

I was not prepared for her to walk in with Mason.

He was never more than two feet from her. Every time he made her smile, every time he made her laugh, a flash of enviousness surged within me. It wouldn't have been nearly as effective if I actually thought Rose was trying to make me jealous, but it was obvious that she wasn't. I had seen my sisters play that vicious game when I was younger. She glanced at me every so often, but it wasn't calculating as if to gauge my reaction to her date. Instead, it almost held a sense of longing, as if she simply wanted to see me. I understood the sentiment. It seemed that I was just as much of a distraction to her as she was to me. While Mason was completely enthralled by her presence, Rose seemed completely unaware to how he worshiped her. She didn't spurn his advances, but she didn't exactly encourage or magnify them either. Oh, but that boy was persistent.

When she received a small necklace as a present, he offered to help her put in on. I watched him brush his fingertips across her neck as he fastened it, and perhaps others found the touch innocent or accidental, but I didn't miss his smile and blush that accompanied the gesture. Nor did I miss how long he held Rose's hand as he admired the gift Lissa gave her.

As much as it burned to watch Mason flirt with my Roza, it was nothing compared to the pain of watching Rose reciprocate some of his actions. I had seen Rose flirt much more boldly, even with Mason himself, but they had always been empty gestures before now. Watching her talk to him as the party moved around them, I could see the signs of a possible budding romance.

Then, she would look back towards me, and I would realize exactly who was standing in her way.

I returned to my conversation with Tasha, trying to keep my mind from wondering as we discussed where old friends had ended up and how all of our lives had changed through the years. I laughed at the appropriate time, adding an acceptable comment here or there. My heart wasn't in it though. I kept thinking of Rose and how much she deserved to be happy.

Maybe she could be happy with Mason.

Maybe I could be happy with Tasha.

The new beaded bracelet that dangled from Rose's wrist caught my eye every few minutes. Her little chotki was a family heirloom in the Dragomir line, meant for a guardian beloved to the family. Watching Lissa offer it to Rose earlier made me feel more confident in what I was training Rose to eventually do. She was meant to be Lissa's guardian. She was meant to wear that token. While I might be the only technical Dragomir Guardian right now, Rose wore that title on her soul, not her resume. It wasn't a matter of prestige to her, but a calling of honor and responsibility. I might have cared about Princess Vasilisa and had every intention of protecting her, but Rose loved her more than she loved herself. She would die for her protection because of love, not duty.

It was the same way I felt about Roza. Adding another reason in a long line of reasons why I needed to bow out of the picture gracefully, and walk away from her.

I was glad that despite everything going on between us, Rose seemed to be having a good time. Or she was, until her mother showed up an hour or so late. The shift in Rose's demeanor seemed unmistakable to me, but apparently I was the only one privy to how uncomfortable and agitated Rose became the moment Janine stepped through the door.

In her defense, Guardian Hathaway seemed just as ill-at-ease around Rose. Upon her arrival, I saw her eye flit up to the deep bruise on Rose's face and a small look of regret colored her cheeks. After that, she simply avoided speaking or looking at her daughter, not out of malice but from apparent unease. I'm sure Rose's increasingly precarious temper didn't make the matter any easier.

We both became distant when the topic of the Badica Attack came up, but Rose's mood soured even further when Guardian Hathaway started discussing other similar situations she had been in. As Mason listened in awe to the stories, I cringed at the furious glare Rose kept shooting his way. I almost felt sorry for the boy who was so oblivious to how upset she was getting.

Thankfully, the party dispersed before Rose could get too worked up. Christian and Lissa, who had generally been more focused on each other rather than anything else in the room, left hand in hand. Rose left soon after, with Mason offering to escort her back to her room. I had the small temptation to make sure Mason left after dropping her off, but I knew Rose wouldn't allow anything physical to happen. At least not at this moment. Janine, who hadn't realized Rose's absence until five minutes after she had walked out the door, made a quick excuse before departing herself.

Finally, it was only Tasha and myself.

I helped her clean up the stray wrapping paper from around the sitting area. It only took a few minutes to make the area presentable and I was thankful for another benefit of a smaller gathering. Our group today left even less traces of the holiday festivities than my own family would do back home. Still, I was somewhat remorseful that the party was ending and I would soon be returning to my empty apartment with no one else to distract my mind but the characters in my now familiar books.

"Would you like to come up for a cup of coffee before you leave?" Tasha asked, as if understanding my unspoken reluctance to be alone.

When I agreed, I could already see the questions forming in her mind. She fiddled with the coffee pot for a few seconds before the tell-tale hiss of the machine sounded. Perhaps she thought some small talk would lighten the mood. It was an innocent enough idea. Unfortunately, her topic of choice did nothing to make me feel better.

"I didn't know Rose was dating that Mason boy."

"Yeah, neither did I..." I could feel my teeth grinding together.

"He seems pretty smitten with her," she seemed smitten herself at the possibility of some sort of budding romance between them. "They're cute together."

My jaw was clenched so tight, all I could manage was a nod. Despite knowing that Mason was a genuinely good guy, I couldn't force myself to be happy about the situation.

I fidgeted with the coffee mug she handed me as we sat near the window. The silence lingered while we both watched the snow fall outside.

Apparently the quiet became too much and her voice broke through once more. "So, have you had a chance to think things through a bit?"

I never thought that particular change in subject would actually relax me. It didn't do so by much, mind you, but at least awkward anxiety was better than barely concealed jealous rage.

I ran my hand through my hair, pulling out the tie that was still loosely holding my hair back, as I tried to compose what to say to her. I could see the hint of hopefulness in her eyes, but I wasn't quite ready to give her an answer.

That wasn't what she was asking though, was she? All she was asking is if I had thought about it. It seems like I haven't done anything _but_ think about her offer.

By now I had been silent long enough that her earlier hopefulness was starting to fade into a visible anxiety. I placed my hand on top of hers in an effort to reassure her.

"I have," I said simply, offering no other explanation for the time being.

It didn't seem to matter to her though. Her eyes flicked down to where our hands rested and I could see her lips turn up in a little smile. Her hands felt cold under my fingers and I returned them to my coffee mug in an effort to warm them up again.

We didn't continue that line of conversation further, much to my relief. Instead we kept to much safer topics, mainly about old friends, fond memories, and the young romance between Christian and Vasilisa. I could feel the familiar and comfortable base of our friendship shift, tinged by her offer. Whether I accepted of declined, I knew that whatever future we had between us would always be affected by what was happening at this moment. For now, we were just living in a sort of limbo and I tried to relish the last days of our former friendship.

It eventually ended though. After several hours I bid my farewell, with the vague feeling that something between us would never be the same again.

* * *

><p>It wasn't until I had returned to my apartment that I realized Rose's gift was still in the pocket of my jacket. My immediate reaction was to head back out and drop it by her dorm room, but I hesitated. I needed to let go. We needed to let go.<p>

Instead, I unwrapped the small package. I set the DVD back in it's original place on the bookshelf, before I finished packing my bag for our departure tomorrow. As I finished placing the last few items into the suitcase, I couldn't help but notice how cold I felt.

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><p><strong>Author's Note<strong>

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><p><strong>I hope you enjoyed their Christmas. I'm sorry that Dimitri never had a chance to deliver his gift to Rose. In fact, he never really even had the chance to speak to her, did he? We leave for the Lodge here soon! Things are going to be getting really interesting really fast! We'll be meeting Adrian soon, as well as some drama with our favorite pair. I have some fun things planned for you guys...get ready :)<strong>

**Here's a question of the week for you: do you believe in soulmates? **

**Thank you again for all your support. Several readers have taken the time to reach out to me and I am grateful to be meeting new people on here. You guys are always so wonderful and it is a pleasure to share the stories in my head with you. **

**As always, don't forget to read, review, follow, and favorite! It always makes my day to hear your thoughts and ideas!**


	10. Chapter 10

We left for the lodge in the late afternoon. The school had a single private plane for emergencies, and we were able to borrow a few others from court and a couple from more prominent Royal families that would also be utilizing the Lodge over the holiday. I was slated to leave with the last group, and Tasha held back to fly over with me, Christian, and Lissa. We were settling into the jet as the last few students piled in.

I shouldn't have been surprised that Rose was one of the final few to board. I probably should have been surprised that someone didn't have to drag her out of her dorm just to make the flight in time. I tried to catch her eye to greet her, but she didn't look at me. In fact, it seemed like she was purposefully _not_ looking at me. It was enough to set me on edge.

I couldn't understand the sudden change. Yesterday she was distant, but she wasn't exactly giving me the cold shoulder. We just avoided each other, perhaps out of confusion and awkwardness more than anything else. I didn't know what to say to her and she probably didn't know what to say to me. Now though, she was actively ignoring me.

She passed the row Tasha and I sat in without sparing even a casual glance our way. I watched her as she also passed Christian and Lissa, who were too preoccupied to notice, and finally finding her seat another row or so back by – who else – Mason.

I tried to ignore them, I really did, but my eyes kept glancing back to her while talking to Tasha beside me. I couldn't hear what they were saying over the chatter of the other students, but at one point I saw her flinch slightly and look down. The bewildered look on her face ignited my instinct to jump in, but before I could make any move towards them, I saw Roza smile softly.

A student shifted just enough for me to get a clear view of what had caused the abrupt change in her demeanor. Mason's hand was laying on top of her's, looking completely natural. The jealousy that I expected never came, because before it could rear its ugly head, I saw Rose lace her fingers in his.

My heart dropped out of my chest.

_It's time to move on,_ I thought. _Rose obviously has. You should have done it a long time ago._

I slipped my hand into the one Tasha had resting on the divider between us, settling deeper into the seat and tightening my jacket around me.

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><p>I had seen pictures, blueprints, even aerial satellite images of the resort, but despite all that, I was still impressed by the how stunning it was in person. I was never one for tropical vacations – perhaps a blessing considering my line of work – and the nature and seclusion that a cabin surrounded by forests offered was right up my alley. Granted, there was no doubt that this cabin was just as technologically advanced as a 5-star metropolitan hotel. Even the various walkways around the resort were heated for our convenience.<p>

I peeked around Tasha to glance at Rose. She seemed just as enamored with the accommodations as I was. It seemed like everyone was, to be honest.

"Dimka...this is...stunning!"

I snapped my attention to the woman next to me again. "We chose if for the safety features, but yes, it is quite beautiful. That isn't a bad perk. Apparently there's a full spa and several other recreation options beyond the ski trails also."

Her face lit up the moment I mentioned the spa, just like I knew it would. I mirrored her smile, happy that Tasha would be able to get some of the pampering she deserved. I knew that she had access to these sorts of luxuries often when she was younger, but it had probably been a while since she had allowed herself to indulge like this.

"I haven't had a massage in years," she said dreamily, confirming my unspoken thought, "but I think I'll take a day or two to play on the mountain first. It doesn't quite make sense to work those knots out only to kill my body the next day. How about you? Are you planning to enjoy something special while we're here?"

I choose not to reply, knowing that it would be enough to confirm Tasha's suspicions.

"I do wish you'd take some time for yourself, Dimitri. You deserve it." Her hand brushed against mine, perhaps accidentally. "You deserve a lot of things."

I watched her walk to the front desk for her room assignment, but was quickly distracted by Lissa's joyful shriek. She must have realized that she and Rose were rooming together. I had also made sure that they were put in one of the nicer rooms available. I had called in a favor or two to make sure it happened, but it was worth it. It may not have been anything too elaborate, but I knew it would make this trip a little brighter for them both. After the past few weeks, I knew Rose could use any little happiness right now.

* * *

><p>It didn't take Rose long to find that well earned happiness and relaxation like I had hoped. I could occasionally see her, Mason, Christian, and Lissa as they made their way up and down the ski slope over and over the first day. It was nice to see her acting like a normal teenage girl. It wasn't something that she had the opportunity to do very often. It was sometimes hard to remember that she was still a kid in many ways, even if she was more mature than someone her age should need to be.<p>

The sun was just beginning to rise over the horizon when I caught a glimpse of the group near the mogul hill. Mason and Rose raced down at speeds that were just shy of perilous. I could even see Mason stumble once or twice on his decent, though he recovered before any damage could be done. Part of me wanted to call them out on their reckless behavior, but I resisted because I knew the desire was at least partially motivated by the idea of breaking up the pair of Novices, even for a moment. Instead, I contented myself with getting distracted by the work in front of me. There wasn't much to do in a simple patrol of my designated area, but since there were quite a few people around, it was enough to keep my mind occupied.

That changed rapidly when I saw Christian and Lissa walk pass me on their way back towards the lodge. If those two were here, it meant that Rose and Mason were now alone. I kept my anxiety in check with the mental reminder that Mason truly cared for Rose and would never hurt her, not to mention that Rose wouldn't hesitate to defend herself is she saw fit. I had seen her take down Mason in their combat classes more often than not when the two sparred. Still, I wasn't thrilled with the idea of them spending time together unsupervised. Try as I might to keep my focus on those around me, I kept glancing back towards the hill and the various ski trails that descended it.

I finally saw them about an hour later, once again near the mogul hill. My heart nearly stopped as I saw her take a jump off a short ridge, finally feeling another stuttering beat as she gracefully hit the powder on the other side. I couldn't do much more that watch and pray as she attempted one hairpin turn after another, dodging trees along the way before finally coming to a stop with a flourish of spraying snow. All the while, Mason cheered her on from the top. If it hadn't been so incredibly dangerous, I would have been impressed.

_Well_, I thought, _there goes the idea about him never putting her in harm's way._ I couldn't fault Mason entirely though. While Rose was fully capable of putting herself in dangerous situations all on her own, it would at least help if Mason didn't encourage her antics. All it took was one small misstep and she could have been seriously injured.

Apparently he didn't learn from her near death experience, because before anyone could stop him, Mason was off to attempt the same insane obstacle course. He only made it about half as far as Rose had before he missed one of the landings and fell hard.

My radio was raised to call for the medic before he finished sliding to a stop. Celeste, who appeared to be the closest guardian in that area, was rushing to the scene. Rose kicked off her skis and did the same. Though he didn't get up, I could see Mason moving slowly on the ground, and felt relief lighten the weight in my shoulders. If Mason had been hurt, I knew Rose would have taken it personally and blamed herself.

After a moment or two, I could see the medical team assist Mason down the rest of the hill while Rose carried both of their gear back towards the rental area near the other entrance to the lodge. I also caught sight of my shift relief for the night making his way towards me. Once we completed a short debriefing, I left the new guardian to take charge of the area and started towards the medical wing to have a conversation with Mason.

* * *

><p>I walked into the sterile room to see the nurse finish wrapping Mason's ankle in a brace, handing him an ice pack with the shake of her head before walking away. Mason returned the gesture with a sheepish grin. It looked like he only had a sprained ankle and I wondered if he understood just how lucky he was. With what he had tried, he could have easily been left with a broken neck.<p>

"I'd appreciate it if you didn't try to kill my student."

Mason, previously unaware of my presence near the door, jumped at the sound of my voice. I wont deny the slight satisfaction it gave me to see him so intimidated by me.

"I-I'm sorry, Guardian Belikov." he stuttered. "We get so competitive, it was stupid. I didn't think she'd actually attempt the challenge and once she did it so flawlessly...well, I couldn't let her show me up. I should have known that I couldn't compete with her though." Mason's embarrassment quickly morphed into a distant look of wonder. "Rose is amazing. She always has been."

I didn't disagree with him. Rose had surprised me more often than I could count and I couldn't say that I wasn't just as awe inspired by her on occasion.

"Still, I'm sorry we got carried away. We haven't had the chance to spend much time together recently. Not that I mind her extra training sessions..." he quickly amended when he realized what his complaint insinuated. "If anything, I'm a bit jealous of her chance work one on one with you. I'm glad that you're helping her. It just hasn't left a lot of time to hang out with her like I used to. I guess I just jumped at the chance and wasn't thinking straight." He was rambling a bit at this point, but I allowed him some time to compose his thoughts. "I'm glad that I'm the one that took the fall, not her. I'd never want to be the reason she was hurt."

His sincerity was as apparent as his freckles and red hair. It was almost painfully easy to see just how much Mason cared for Rose and I felt a bit guilty for my jealousy towards him. He had done nothing except fall prey to the same wild and beautiful girl that I fell for.

"I know," I acquiesced. "She cares about you, too. I'm grateful for how you've stood by her through everything and I know she's lucky to have you as a friend."

"Friend," he scoffed, giving a huff at the word as if it was some offensive slur. "Right."

I worried the corner of my mouth as I considered my next move. I had come to give Mason a hard time about endangering Rose, but now that I was here, I was tempted to do something else with this opportunity. As much as I hated the idea of anyone else with Rose, Mason really was a good kid and I'd rather them be together, even for a short while, than for her to be completely alone. Or even worse, for her to be taken advantage of by some self entitled Moroi Royal who felt like he was doing a favor to our race simply by looking at her.

"Have you asked Rose out?"

Mason's eyes widened in surprised, obviously caught off guard that I was even talking to him about something like this. It wasn't exactly a subject that made me comfortable, and I could tell it was a bit awkward for him, but I didn't back down and he finally answered me.

"No. There hasn't really been much of an opportunity. I wanted to ask her to the Equinox dance last month, but things kinda got in the way, ya know?"

I nodded, understanding some of his hesitance. A mysterious trail of dead animals and a sudden kidnapping definitely can distract a person.

"Well, forgive me for my bluntness and please understand that I don't typically feel the need to meddle in the love lives of novices, but..." I gave a small breath, bracing for what I was going to say. _I can't believe I'm doing this. _"...perhaps you should take her on a date or two over the holiday break. I'm busy with guarding shifts and we wont be keeping our normal training schedule, so she should have some extra time on her hands."

Mason looked at me incredulously, clearly not expecting me to suggest anything regarding his dating habits. His silence got the better of my nerves and I continued.

"It's obvious that you like her. To be perfectly frank, I think she is harboring more than friendly feelings for you as well."

Mason's grin brightened considerably at my confession.

"You both have a few more months before graduation. You deserve the opportunity to be teenagers and have some fun before you receive your promise marks. Take the chance and ask Rose out. If anything comes of it...I promise to make sure she has the occasional Friday night off from training. Deal?"

"Deal!" Mason eagerly reached for the handshake I offered him. "Thank you, Guardian Belikov."

"Please, call me Dimitri." If I'm going to play reluctant wing man to the guy perusing the girl I loved, there was no reason to be formal about it. "Rest that ankle and I'd be happy to help you work on some balance techniques when we get back to the Academy."

Somehow, he looked even more thrilled at this proposition, offering nothing more than an eager silent nod.

With that, I took my leave. It was time to have a chat with Rose about her own reckless behavior.

* * *

><p>It took a while to find Rose. I knew where I had last seen her – walking towards the equipment rental to drop of both her and Mason's skis – but that had been almost twenty minutes ago. She would probably be long gone by now. A part of me missed the familiarity of the Academy where I knew her haunts and could find her almost as easily as she could find Lissa at a moment's notice.<p>

It was a surprise to me then, when I finally found her ten minutes later near the same entrance where she must have come in from returning the gear. She wasn't alone though. I heard her voice mingling with that of a man's, and when I finally caught sight of her, she was talking to none other than Adrian Ivashkov.

He was only a few years younger than myself, but his reputation as a party animal and playboy had made him notorious. When I had warned Roza about entitled Moroi men using her for nothing more than their momentary pleasure, Adrian was just the sort of person I was describing, even more so than Jesse who I had caught her with earlier this year.

Due to their age and royal status, Ivan and Adrian had run in similar social circles, but Ivan avoided him as often as possible and I followed his lead. I had yet to really have a proper conversation with Adrian, and he seemed content to dismiss me entirely, the way most other Royals regarded guardians and other dhampirs.

Unfortunately for everyone, he _had_ taken notice of Rose. Based on his body language, I could see that he was interested in her. He kept a respectable distance for now, but he made his intent known in the way he leaned towards her and occasionally raked his eyes over every inch of her body. The way he looked at her held a vague possessiveness that came with generations of getting anything and anyone you wanted. With a last name like his, there was no doubt in my mind that he was used to having his way.

Roza didn't seem willing or charmed though. At least not at first. The longer they spoke, the more I watched the initial disgust on her countenance fade into something that resembled intrigue more than interest. I made my way a bit closer to hear their conversation as he extended his hand to her, perhaps properly introducing himself.

She pulled her hand from his as she shook her head. "You don't know anything about me. And I only know of your _family_. I don't know anything about _you._"

"Want to?" His voice was taunting, but not so much as to disguise the actual offer in his question. I felt my temper flare at actually hearing him proposition her.

Rose seemed unimpressed. "Sorry. I'm not into older guys."

Adrian's eyes flickered towards me for the briefest moment, somehow avoiding Rose's notice while acknowledging me for the first time...though I sensed that he had known my presence for longer than he let on. I was grateful that my face wouldn't betray the amusement I felt at Rose's false claim, nor would I give that secret away.

"I'm twenty-one. Not that much older," he pressed.

"I have a boyfriend."

In the back of my mind, I knew that she was simply seeking a different excuse and way out of the conversation, but I couldn't help the way it made me feel to think that she could be referring to meme with that title. It was only a moment later when I realized that she could be referencing Mason just as easily as me, and perhaps even more so considering her first statement.

When Rose's attention shifted elsewhere on the snowy mountain, I caught Adrian glancing my way again. It was both curious and all together unsettling in the way he seemed to understand what was going through my mind. He seemed almost...amused?

As Rose stared at whatever had caught her eye among the many skiers, and Adrian's focus completely on me, he replied. "Funny you didn't mention that before."

The way he said it chilled me. There was no way that he could know the truth about the situation between Rose and I, but the way he considered me as he spoke hinted at the impossible knowledge of something more.

Seeing that Rose was currently holding her own against his abrasive charisma, I slipped behind the wall and out of his view. I could still hear the sounds of conversation, and even though I couldn't hear the exact words, their tone would warn me if thing got out of hand. I was close enough to break up things if she needed me to, but I didn't want to feel exposed under Adrian's gaze a moment longer than I had to. It was fairly unnerving.

Soon, a second female voice joined the duo, and they entire group broke only a few moments later. The Rinaldi girl, Mia, passed me in the hall, hardly even seeing me through her own seething. A few minutes passed before I saw Rose walk down the hall in the opposite direction of where I had concealed myself. I was about to follow her when I heard the heavier footsteps of a man coming closer to me, and it didn't take an introduction for me identify the voice that spoke to me from around the corner.

"So...she isn't into older guys?"

I stayed silent, hoping that he was simply speaking to himself out loud. My hope was quickly dashed.

"And let me guess, you aren't into younger girls?"

I stepped around the corner to see him leaning casually against the wall, waiting for me to emerge. I didn't dignify his question with a response, but I apparently didn't need to do so to confirm his suspicions.

"I'm guessing you aren't the aforementioned boyfriend..." his eyes flickered from my face to the space around my head "...but ah, you want to be. Don't you?"

I set my jaw, fighting the urge to grab him by the collar and throw him off the nearby balcony. I tried to remain as visually impartial as I could, but I could feel the tension building and my teeth start to grind against each other.

"The apathetic guardian act wont work on me Cradle Robber, I can read you like a book. Trust me, I don't blame you one little bit. Rose is quite tempting." He looked off towards the direction she had left before adding, "I wouldn't mind getting her naked and alone."

I knew the comment was designed to goad me more than anything else, but my reaction was instinctive. Two emotions surged at once. The first was the unrelenting rage that this arrogant, self-centered womanizer would suggest such a thing. It was followed quickly by the overwhelming guilt when my mind flashed to a moment when I had done just that. I would have expected him to anticipate and perhaps react to the former. However, his eyes grew wide, not in fear but in surprise, morphing easily into delighted grin of someone who now held all the cards.

"No..." He hissed, astonished.

I kept my face neutral, but it didn't matter to him.

"Ah, this is too glorious. The good Guardian isn't quite as honorable as he seems. Thankfully, I have no pretense of honor to live up to. I'm sure I'll get my own chance soon enough."

The building tension broke quickly in a blast of energy. Before I could think about what I was doing, I had him pinned against the wall, my forearm pressed against his chest and my face close enough to smell the trace of alcohol on his breath.

"Stay away from her." Each word in my demand was enunciated carefully to make sure there was absolutely no chance of miscomunication between us. Like Jesse so long ago, I was powerless to truly follow through on any threat. The only difference was this time, my victim knew it. Adrian knew I couldn't hurt him and even worse, he knew that held power over me. His momentary shock at my attack faded into something closer to pity until I couldn't stand to look at him any longer.

I released him, feeling smaller and more powerless than I had in years.

The bastard laughed as I walked away.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note<strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Hey guys! Thanks for reading :) Last week I asked if you guys believed in soulmates and many of you replied with your opinions. Thanks! I really enjoyed hearing what you had to say. Some of you also asked what I thought and I figured I'd share it here. I tend to follow Dimitri's line of thinking (surprise!) that almost any two people can find happiness if you both are willing to work at the relationship. Some people are more compatible than others, but I don't buy into the notion that there is only one perfect person for anyone and you'll never be truly happy until you find that person.<strong>

**I hope you enjoyed this chapter, especially with the introduction of Adrian. We will be seeing more of him interacting with Dimitri in the near future. I should tell you upfront that I really like Adrian, and I think he was actually a pretty good guy, but he is really horrid the first few times we see him and Dimitri's opinion of him will amplify that preception. I think 'scoundrel' would be a good word to describe him. A lovable scoundrel to most of us, but a scoundrel none the less. It's fun to see how his personality changes from when we first meet him as compared to him at the end of the series (and even into Bloodlines, if you've read that *random shout out to Ruby Circle releasing* **no spoilers please**).**

**Question of the week: I know we're all Romitri fans, but if you had to ship Rose with anyone else, who would it be? Mason or Adrian? **

**Personally, I think both boys left their mark on her. Mason was the epitome of the sweet teenage romance that everyone deserves once in their lifetime and I wish that we could have seen more time between the two. Adrian was also a pretty good guy and I'm kinda sad that Rose really never gave him the chance he probably deserved. He really ended up getting the short straw in that drawing. I might have to write a little love story between the two at some point, what do you think? Make me choose...I'll have to say Adrian. **

**That you all again for being such loyal readers! Don't forget to favorite and follow, and I would REALLY love to hear your thoughts. Also...fair warning...I'm pretty sure some of you are going to want to hit me because of a scene in the next chapter. Brace yourselves.**


	11. Chapter 11

That night, all my dreams centered on the idea of losing Rose. I lost her to the deathly grip of Strigoi. I lost her to Victor's Psi-Hounds. I lost her to Mason. I lost her to Adrian. I lost her due to my own selfishness and stupidity. Over and over again, until I didn't dare close my eyes anymore. Instead, I laid awake, staring at the ceiling and trying to figure out exactly how I was going to piece together my life.

The sun eventually started to set, marking the start of a new day. I welcomed the distraction that work would provide for a short time. I had an early morning shift and I was glad for it. Natasha had invited me to a training session with Christian, and as intrigued as I was to see their offensive magic in action, I also knew that plausible denibility was a valid concern. I was already playing with fire when it came the non-relationship with Roza, and it was generally a good idea to only contemplate breaking one law at a time. They were planning on being done by lunch and I had promised to meet Tasha at the cafe near the lobby.

The trio of Christian, Lissa, and Rose poured out together from the hallway, without Tasha in sight. Lissa seemed to be scolding Rose for something based on the way Rose held her hands on her hips defensively. I'd seen that stance more than once during our training sessions and it generally meant that Rose was losing her patience. I briefly wondered if I should step in and try to diffuse the impending time bomb, but someone else beat me to the punch.

"Hey there, Hop-Along." Rose's smile returned instantly as she addressed Mason, reaching for his hand as he approached her.

Seeing how easily her hand slip into his stung, but I reminded myself of my decision to encourage their relationship. If the choice was between him and Adrian, I'd choose Mason every time. I only hoped the boy would take my advice and ask her out soon, before someone else tried to charm her out of his grasp.

I saw the look of anger, exacerbated by his own insecurity, only a moment before spoke. "Is it true you were hanging out with Adrian Ivashkov?"

Rose's hand flew back from his touch immediately, looking as confused as both Christian and Lissa beside her. "I – What?"

Mason pressed forward and all I could think about was how he was really screwing up his chance right now. "I heard you guys got drunk last night."

"You did?" Vasilissa looked shocked, but not necessarily unsurprised, as if it wouldn't be above Rose's character to do something like that.

I knew that she had matured quite a bit in the past few months, and I wanted to believe that she was above something so reckless, but at that moment I was incredibly interested in hearing her answer.

"No, of course not! I barely know him."

"But you _do_ know him," Mason pressed.

"Barely."

"He's got a bad reputation," warned Lissa.

"Yeah," added Christian, looking uncharacteristically concerned, "he goes through a lot of girls."

"Will you guys lay off?" Rose seemed exasperated, about ready to scream. "I only talked to him for, like, five minutes! And that is only because he was blocking my way. Where are you getting all this?" She directed the question Mason, and he immediately shirked under gaze, apparently giving her the answer. "Mia," she spit with disbelieving disdain.

Mason didn't reply, but gave a small, barely noticeable nod as he continued to avoid looking at Rose. His shame was evident, and even I felt a bit of personal disappointment for doubting her for even a moment.

Suddenly Rose was the one asking the accusatory questions. "Since when did you talk to her?"

"I just ran into her, that's all."

"And you believed her? You know she lies half the time."

I was fairly surprised myself that he would trust that source of information when he was the one who had reportedly unveiled her lies just over a month ago when she was terrorizing both Rose and Lissa.

"Yeah, but there's usually some truth in the lies. And you _did _talk to him."

"Yes. _Talk_. That's it." There was a tone of finality in it the way she said it, but neither novice challenged the other. In fact, it seemed like they couldn't even look at each other; Rose due to her annoyance and Mason because of his shame. Even from several yards away, I could feel the uncomfortable air between them.

It was Christian that finally broke the building tension. "I suppose no skiing today, huh?" He gestured to the ankle that still caused a slight limp in Mason's step.

Mason let out a sound of indignation, puffing out his chest and putting on a show while replying flippantly, "What, you think this is gonna slow me down?"

With one comment, Rose's annoyance at her red-headed friend vanished and was replaced with knowing grin. She apparently empathized with his need to prove himself, despite an injury that should cause him to second guess any unneeded physical stress.

Christian and Vasilisa openly stared as if they were slightly insane to return to the slopes after the events of yesterday. Perhaps they were, but that would hardly stop them.

"You guys wanna come with us?" It was a unnecessary question, as I knew she could see their anticipated reply as easily as I could.

"We can't," Lissa answered, gently shaking her blonde hair from side to side. "We have to go to this luncheon being hosted by the Contas."

"There you are."

My attention was suddenly pulled from the students across the room to the much closer female voice that was taking her seat across from me.

"Sorry I'm late. I had some evidence to dispose of," Natasha whispered playfully, though I was fairly certain it wasn't a lie. When your element is fire, it's only a matter of time before something gets burned.

"Not a problem. I haven't been here long and the kids were more than enough of a distraction." I nodded in their direction as the two pairs split for their separate activities. "You sure you don't have somewhere else to be?"

"The Conta's luncheon? Hardly. Liliana wouldn't be caught dead inviting someone of my station to such an event." Her sarcastic self-deprecation hinted at the actual slight she must have felt, inducing a wistful sigh at the retreating form of her nephew. "I never imagine him being pulled into that world. I can't quite say if I'm more worried or proud that he is being accepted into society."

"I guess it was unavoidable when he started dating Vasilisa. She hardly has a choice in the matter herself, but I think he keeps her grounded about these things."

Her distracted nod made me wonder if she even heard my reply. I reached out and tapped her hand, recapturing her attention from the now empty hallway.

"You've done well with him, Tash. He can handle himself. Don't worry, okay?"

"Well, now you are just asking the impossible!"

I laughed along with her, happy to see her returning to the carefree girl I knew so well.

"When does your shift start?"

"Split shift today. I just got off the first half less than a half hour ago and I'll be starting another four hour shift around two."

"You know, you have to sleep sometime." There was an odd quality in her smirk that made me wonder if she was teasing me or _teasing_ me. I decided to just ignore the possible flirtation for the time being.

"Trust me, this isn't so bad. At least my breaks involve decent company."

"Do you have a day off at all during this trip?"

"I pulled Sunday off," referring to the lottery style way the school guardians chose our own vacation during the break, "The day after the Voda's Dinner. I'll be working the event, but I'll have the next day to myself. I'm thinking of pulling Rose for some training, since I don't want her to start slacking..."

"Nonsense, that girl works as hard as you do and deserves just as much of a break. Leave the poor thing alone. I'll treat you to some fun instead, what do you say?"

I could see that she was really hoping that I would say yes. I'm not sure what she had in mind, but I could see that by saying yes, I would make her happier than whatever it was that she had planned to relax and treat me. I couldn't deny her that. But even my slight hesitation didn't go unnoticed by her, and I saw her face drop a fraction before I agreed.

"That sounds wonderful. Thank you."

Our sandwiches arrived to the table, and we ate in silence for a while. Normally, I didn't mind the silence. While I often teased Rose about her mindless chatter during practice, the truth was that much of our time together was spent in peaceful quiet. That was a comfortable silence, unlike what I surrounded by now. I felt the need to say something to fill it, and every moment of quiet that passed seemed to make me a bit more anxious.

"Do you have any questions?"

"Excuse me?" Even though I was practically begging for one of us to say something, her question still caught me off guard.

"Any questions? About my offer I mean." She seemed just as ill at ease as I felt, which was saying something. She tucked her hair behind her ear for the third time in the last minute, and I was beginning to recognize it as a nervous tick of hers. "I just...you haven't given an answer yet...and I just want to make sure you had all the information you needed. I'm not trying to pressure you, I know it's a big decision, but I can't act like this isn't hanging over our heads."

"You're right, it is hanging over our heads but..." I sighed, trying to figure out something to say without giving an answer either way.

"What's standing in your way? You like to think things through – I know that – but this seems different. This seems like you're...hesitating for some reason."

I didn't know what to say to her. I've spent every moment of my free time thinking this through. There were a million and a half reasons to leave, but none of them seemed to compare to the one reason for me to stay.

"Perhaps I am a bit," I admitted.

She looked sympathetic rather than annoyed, patiently waiting for me to elaborate further.

I took a deep breath, using any spare moment I could to gather my thoughts. I didn't want to hurt her, but I felt the need to voice my concerns, albeit in a fairly round about way. "I just don't want to put pressure on us. This arrangement...I don't want you to feel like you have to do this just for my benefit. That's a whole lot to ask from anyone, especially a friend." It was a lot to ask from me.

"Dimitri. I wouldn't have offered this if I wasn't at least a little interested in you. I'm not that self sacrificing." She looked almost amused at my concerns, setting me slightly on edge. I did what I could to calm myself. "If it makes you feel better, we could take things slow."

"What do you mean?" The trip ended in just over a week, even if we took the entire time to 'take things slow' as she suggested, it would still be way too fast for my taste.

"Nobody said that we had to leave right after everyone returns to the academy. We could wait until the school year is out. That way you have a chance to finish training Rose and you wouldn't be leaving Vasilisa without a guardian. In the mean time, we could date a little and get to know one another again. We don't even need to put the paperwork in motion until we see if this is something worth pursuing. No pressure, just an opportunity. I would need to return home for a little while, but I think I could make arrangements to stay on campus every now and then. Would that help settle your worries any?"

In one fell swoop, she had erased every every logical reason for rejecting her. The only problem was that my biggest hesitation had nothing to do with logic. It was also one thing I knew I couldn't discuss with her. Still, it was incredibly considerate of her and I knew I should at least try.

"Honestly, that would help quite a bit. I'd still like to think things through a little more, but it would be hard to pass up such an offer." The enthusiasm I forced into my voice seemed thin at best, but it seemed to satisfy her. "I have to take care of a few things before my next shift, but thank you for meeting me for lunch. It really was nice to talk to you."

I stood, tossing enough cash onto the table to pay for both of our meals. I appreciated that Tasha didn't make a show of protesting my old fashioned ways and allowed me to treat her. I knew she was more than capable of taking care of herself. She had done so time and time again and was possibly in a better financial position than I was. Still, something as small as this made me feel like there some semblance of normalcy in our relationship. This is what most men would do for a woman they were dating, or considering dating, and despite everything else our potential agreement entailed, I could at least get a small grasp on this.

"Thank you for lunch, Dimitri. I'll see you again soon."

I leaned down, hesitating before giving a small kiss on her cheek. Before, I never second guessed the gesture. It was common in Russia to kiss a dear friend in parting. However, this was the first time I had attempted it since the day of the shopping trip, when she surprised me be meeting my friendly intention with her lips and a suggestion of something much more complicated. Today, there was no such surprise and I made my way back to finish some paperwork before starting my next shift.

I started at the same position that I had taken yesterday: monitoring the gathering space between the lodge and the base of the mountain. There were several seating areas including some small dining tables. The main ski lift that took you three quarters of the way up the mountain, accessing a majority of the runs, was to the far left. I knew that there was a second lift that could take you up the remaining length up, but it only held some more difficult runs and wasn't used nearly as much as the primary lift.

I had a decent view of the wide expanse where all the runs came together at the bottom, and watching the students and other guests come and go was enough to keep my mind fairly occupied. Around the end of my shift, I finally saw Rose and Mason again. There was evidence of a full day of skiing on them, and Mason's limp had deepened significantly because of it. They made their way towards the rental shack with their skis over their shoulders, apparently done for the day. I tried to ignore the twinge of jealousy as his hand brushed against hers while they walked, both laughing freely. I understood why Rose felt bitter seeing me interact with Tasha earlier. Seeing her interact without restraint – in a way that we were simply unable to – was a hard pill to swallow.

Suddenly, a flash of white crossed my vision, hitting the boy upside the head. I followed the snowball's trajectory to a small group of pines near a storage shed. Sandy blond hair peeked around from it's hiding place.

"Too slow Ashford! Doesn't pay to be in love," Eddie Castile called out, and I couldn't help but agree with the statement. "We'll still take you in, though, if you want to be on our team. Even if you do dodge like a girl."

His last comment was obviously directed at Rose as much as Mason, and she returned his jab by sticking out her tongue before she and Mason took off together and returned fire, apparently joining the fray.

I saw one of the younger Guardians come up from behind me. "Should we stop them? It's against academy rules."

"We aren't at the academy, and I doubt a few snow balls will do any harm." I never quite agreed with that rule anyway. As long as we didn't attack the Moroi student's, the novices at at St. Basils were free to test their aim in the occasional snow ball fight. "I'll keep things from getting too out of hand."

The small group of novices grew to include a few more as the fight went on. All of the students flung just as many mocking insults as they did frozen projectiles. Rose's aim seemed to stand out among the pack and I took a little personal pride her her accuracy.

After one particularly good hit on Novice Castile, Rose furthered his humiliation by giving a victory dance. I stared with a sidelong glance, trying not to be to obvious. I was equally amused and entranced by the way she playfully moved about him. I had to give Eddie some credit: had she been shaking her hips in front of me the way she was doing to him, I would have been tempted to touch. By the way Eddie cocked his eyebrow in Mason's direction, I would hazard a guess that the same thought crossed both boys' mind. Unlike me, Mason wasn't held back by decorum actually took on the challenge. He quickly made his way over, picked her up, threw her over his shoulder, and tossed her into a nearby hill of powdery snow. Even I laughed when he finished his assault by stuffing a handful of snow down the back of her coat, earning a a high pitched shriek from his victim.

My laughter was quickly ended when she suddenly turned on him, tackling him to the ground and pinning him in the same manner I had pinned her once in practice. In an instant, my mind flashed back to the first time I had nearly given in to my feelings for Rose. I could see the same scene playing out before me now. Both students seemed caught up in moment before they were interrupted by the shouting of another Guardian who must have seen the snow ball fight. Rose slowly stood, pulling him up after her, and the two of them took off before Stan could hand out punishments.

Not fully escaping his notice, Stan caught sight of the pair hurrying into the lodge and started after them. I stepped in and assured him that I would take care of the matter. He didn't need to know that my punishment wouldn't consist of more than the instruction to not participate in another snow war again.

I slipped around the corner to the entrance, just in time to witness something that I had never hoped to see with my own eyes.

Roza, my Roza, stepped towards the boy and pressed her lips against his. It was a fairly innocent kiss, one that you might expect from two young teenagers, but it opened the door to something more. Worse, was the recognition that she had been the one to instigate the kiss, sealing my fate in my mind. As she stepped back, still within the confines of his embrace, she spoke just loud enough for me to hear.

"You see? You have nobody to worry about. Not Adrian. Not anybody."

_Not me._

Mason didn't hesitate pulling her in again, exchanging the smile on their lips for another kiss. I left without either of them noticing me, too caught up in each other to notice an unintentional audience.

I switched my earlier position for a patrol route until the end of my shift. I needed to keep moving, because if I stopped for even a moment, I didn't know what I would do. There was such an intense conflict of emotions warring within me and I couldn't keep a hold of one long enough to consider what it meant. There was a part of me that was understandably morose, watching Roza move on from me. Another part of me, one that I wished didn't exist, was enraged that she seemed to move on to the next suitor so easily. Some of that anger was turned inward because I had lost her; I was too caught up in what was right to do what felt right. Finally, the last emotion that weaved through my mind was that of bittersweet contentment. Rose seemed happier in that moment than she had in weeks as she dealt with my warring affections. I was happy that Mason was finally able to step up to the plate and give her the open, uncomplicated relationship that she deserved.

I kept walking until my shift ended, and didn't stop until I was in front of one of the guest rooms. I don't remember making the decision to come here, but once I knocked on the door, I knew there was no turning back. My hand lifted of it's own volition and gave three sharp raps.

Within 30 seconds, the door creaked open, revealing a dark mane of hair being pulled into a messy knot and the woman it belonged to.

"Dimka? What are you doing here?"

"Can I come in?

She stepped aside, letting her actions speak for her. I intended to do the same.

As she shut the door, turning back towards me with a slight look of surprise at my sudden arrival, I cupped her cheek, brushing my thumb along the raised skin of her scar. My heart didn't race at the same frantic pace that it did when I had been this close to Rose, but I couldn't deny that it was beating loud in my ears. It was hard to distinguish if it was a reaction to my anticipation or simply nerves brought on by the unknown. In this moment, I decided that it didn't matter.

I wasn't the only one responding to the situation. Tasha seemed slightly out of breath. She waited for me to make the first move, perhaps still unsure about what this meant. To be frank, I wasn't entirely sure myself, but I felt the need to distract myself and pushing forward with her seemed as reasonable as anything else at the moment.

I bent down, testing the feel of her lips against mine in nearly the same way I did years ago when we had briefly dated before. Even with our history, everything felt new again. When we had dated before, it had been lighthearted and non-demanding. Neither of us expected much more than the companionship of the other. Things were different this turn around. Now, there was the promise of commitment and family. I still didn't feel like I was in a position to promise those things to her now, but I felt like in time...maybe I could.

I slipped my free hand from between her shoulder blades to the small of her back, tugging her closer to me as I opened my mouth against hers. I could feel her finally relax into my affection, and soon after we were both getting lost in the situation.

I had to admit that there was something nice about not feeling guilty about my actions, or at least not as guilty. Somewhere in the back of my mind, there was the thought of Roza and how I was cheating all three of us by pressing forward with Tasha when I still had feelings for her. But she was moving on, and I needed to also. Tasha was willing, and was just the distraction I needed to keep from feeling lonely and heartbroken about what I witnessed earlier.

I was so lost in the physical sensation, I didn't realize that I had moved us against her bed. Or perhaps she had moved me. Either way, I didn't disagree with the sudden change and sat on the edge before pulling her up to straddle my lap, holding her hips to keep her secure against me. I had dreampt of Rose in this position more than once, and the feeling was better than my mind had conjured.

I let go of every worry about right and wrong and simply let myself feel her move against me. My lips traveled away from her mouth, roaming her cheek, her jaw, and her throat. It felt so good to feel this freedom, that I didn't notice a distinct change.

"Dimka. Your phone."

Tasha's voice, slightly breathless, broke me of my abject illusion. I pulled back, looking into her ice blue eyes rather than the warm brown ones that I had been so sure were waiting for me a moment ago. I was thankfully able to keep the shock and regret from my face as she repeated herself.

"You're phone's going off. I think someone's calling you." She shifted slightly on my lap, perhaps uncomfortable with the proximity of the vibrating phone in my pocket. I was just as uncomfortable, noticing exactly how caught up I had gotten in our tryst, even if I hadn't been fully aware of who it was with.

I slipped my hand in my pocket, accidentally brushing against the rough denim that covered her thigh when she moved to sit beside me. I cleared my throat, hoping to sound less flustered when I answered the call without checking the caller ID.

"Belikov." It was still gruff, but I hoped that whoever was on the other end of the line would assume the roughness in my voice was due to sleep rather than other bedroom activities.

"Guardian Belikov, it's Alberta. We are calling an emergency meeting with some of the school guard leaders in twenty minutes. There's been an attack outside of Chico, CA. It seems like it might have been by the same group that attacked the Badica household, or it was at least done in the same manner. We'd like to compare some notes from the scene with what you witnessed and discuss a plan of action. We'll be meeting in Guardian Hathaway's room."

"I'll head over right away." I glanced over at Tasha, knowing that she was able to hear the entire phone conversation with her superior Moroi hearing. She nodded, not in consent but in agreement. I needed to go right now.

I stood and left her without fanfare. In hindsight, I could have at least offered a goodbye and perhaps a promise to pick up where we left off. However, I was in no mindset to do either. My attempt to focus on the job ahead was punctuated with regret about what had just happened.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note<strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Repeat after me: Romitri is the endgame. Please don't kill me. Dimitri is hurting. Rose did something quite similar if you recall. <strong>

**Thank you for all the responses to last week's question. Most of you were Adrian fans and I can't say that I blame you. There were one or two who shipped Mason and Rose though.**

**This weeks question: Do you prefer Vampire Academy or Bloodlines? *NO RC SPOILERS PLEASE* **

**Now that both are completed, I think people can give a true preference. Personally, I enjoy VA much more than Bloodlines but I think it is because I enjoy the cast of characters more. I do really like how Eddie is expanded in bloodlines, but I think that VA has better developed characters overall. That's just me. I also ship Romitri more than Sydrian. **

**Thank you all for your reviews. I read each and every single one and while I am not always great at responding to everybody, I will continue to try and reach out to you guys. So many of you have said wonderful things about this story and me as a writer. Some have shared how my story has helped them find an escape through a tough time (which I totally appreciate since writing has been my escape through some recent difficult times), others have told me that they now look forward to my weekly updates as part of their weekend routine. You have no idea how fantastic this makes me feel. I hope to be around for a long time, sharing stories with you guys and making new friendships. **

**And extra big shout out to VAGypsy who sent a whole bunch of readers my way this past weekend. Those who share and recommend my writing hold a special place in my heart.**

**Thank you again and don't forget to read, review, favorite and follow! See you all next week!**


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